Anyone else that is married find it hard to make friends? Non-cyber friends

[CoonLover]

I am pretty bummed in some areas of my life after I got married. There was so much I gained but there is some areas I feel I have lost.
I find that people that are family people aren't commonly tokers, and I noticed most tokers aren't commonly family people.
It has presented its own challenges. I seem to fill the void with forum's like this where people share like minded experiences, but it takes a toll on my marriage spending time online and not with my family and others.

I miss not having a friend to kick it with and doing stupid shit with, like pulling out a engine, grabbing a 6'r and rolling a blunt and going golfing etc...
It spills over into my life and I seem to be unhappy even when I don't feel to be.

Any ideas on getting grounding back to reality and/or changing my ideas of what makes oneself happy?

 

[DitBaMay]

man i think u did something fuk up, thats why u you dont have buddies lol......thats what happend when you wife somebody......
there a sayin. Marriage is either the start of your life or the END!!!!
peace.

 

[sparky73]

I know what ya mean, but now I single after 12 years I dont know where to start lol, my son 15 so i dont want more children now. The friends part can be hard tho with women sometimes, specially with friends that never been I think.
Maybe make a day or 2 during week to spend with a friend, i know it hard to balance both tho but i can try to help because can bum a person out.

 

[TrainMan]

Life is one big trade off. You get this but you pay for that. You see what I'm saying.

My girlfriend hates that I go on icmag. We live together. She thinks I'm a loser but I kindly tell her that I don't bother her while she is on her stupid shit like myspace. I don't have a myspace, I don't care about vanity, don't want to keep in touch with old friends who make no effort to keep in touch with me. The closest I get to vanity is when ppl post up awesome bud pictures but that's herb. I don't care what the homies who grow it look like or anything else.

I think as one gets older those times change. Part of me misses being single and not feeling like I have anyone having a say in my life except me but that can be selfish and I learn a lot from my woman so I continue to do what I do. If you girl gives you space then you are lucky. If she doesn't you better take it because you don't need somebody controlling ya.

 

[The End Is Near]

Minor rant here: WTF is up with guys' girlfriends/wives. Obviously not all of them but a lot want to monopolize their man's time, and it seems like some can't piss without their permission. I had one friend over a while back to smoke/ watch a movie, he calls to "check in" and she gets all bitchy and he can't stay the 10 min to watch the end of the movie. And I don't know if this is intentional, subconscious, or they're just naturally obnoxious, but I swear girls like to drive their man's friends away by not being able to STFU during a movie, always having to make a stupid comment every 2 minutes(literally).

 

[nycdfan042]

Damn sucks for YOU!!! lol

 

[Haps]

Converting a lover to a wife is the beginning of the end. They can not torture you properly if you have friends around so they put an end to that the first couple years.

 

[ReeferRon]

My wife told me to say, "Friends are over rated."

 

[Jeff Lebowski]

Dude, come to Cali - you just found your new best friend. Golfing, automotive repair, weed....where have YOU been all my life.

Joking aside, I do find as a younger married man that some people have issues with my commitment. W/e they are fucking tards anyways, because I know lots of people who don't look at marriage in a negative way. The people you are experiencing are not anyone you would want to smoke with anyways if they are going to throw judgment at your lifestyle.

Does your family and his/hers (idk) know you smoke weed? More people need to be open about their weed usage. It would be much harder to marginalize a loud majority than a silent one. Marijuana feelings are in some ways analogous to people not coming out in regards to their sexuality. Be free with your life and those who accept you are those who you want to be around.

Come out of the weed closet everyone!

 

[PoopyTeaBags]

does suck but there are married guys out there that smoke.... Seems to me you fell into a world that was different then your normal world when you were single.... not a bad thing at all but once you only have contact with people that dont smoke or look down on it i myself feel out of place....

i dont know why people think that you have to be a prude (dont smoke look down on people that do) or a stoner(lazy worthless etc... with all the stereotypes out there...)
but it dont have to be like that....

i grew up same place my whole life grew up with all the stoners half became trash and half became productive people that still smoke... or smoke once in a while because of drops (jobs not probation....). But the biggest thing tha i think makes people stop smokeing is significant other, jobs or kids....


once you get comfortable and have a good job/life loseing everythign to smoke a joint people just dont want to risk it.... If it was legal however i do beleive alot more people would smoke and you may find some friends... weed brings people together -=P


sorry if this really didnt go with your thread i just got high on a thought and started typing... gl and stay safe....

 

[BevoLabs]

You should try picking up a hobby that involves people meeting in groups.

Try a boxing class. Take a class on buillding cars, etc.

Get into a new hobby, where you can meet people in your community. Thats how you build normal relationships, then you can weed out the people who don't fit.

Just don't be the weird, creepy guy, who is so far past weird that friends are out of the question! haha

Good luck man!

 

[PoopyTeaBags]

Converting a lover to a wife is the beginning of the end. They can not torture you properly if you have friends around so they put an end to that the first couple years.

the sad part is this is kinda true....

 

[CoonLover]

HAHA, your funny

HAHA, your funny

Dude, come to Cali - you just found your new best friend. Golfing, automotive repair, weed....where have YOU been all my life.

Joking aside, I do find as a younger married man that some people have issues with my commitment. W/e they are fucking tards anyways, because I know lots of people who don't look at marriage in a negative way. The people you are experiencing are not anyone you would want to smoke with anyways if they are going to throw judgment at your lifestyle.

Does your family and his/hers (idk) know you smoke weed? More people need to be open about their weed usage. It would be much harder to marginalize a loud majority than a silent one. Marijuana feelings are in some ways analogous to people not coming out in regards to their sexuality. Be free with your life and those who accept you are those who you want to be around.

Come out of the weed closet everyone!

Ya, everyone of her family knows I smoke and they look down at me for it. I don't sweat it, but I also don't get along with them because of it.

My family knows as well and they always try to blame any and everything on the fact I do.


DAMN CENSOR PATROL CHOPPED THIS UP

My wife ISN'T the problem. She wants me to make friends and find some hobbies. I just hate people that have closed minds towards weed.

 

[coldoneror]

Who wants to read about you eating out your gf for hours.. how old are you? Who was your best friend growing up. I had the same best friend growing up and he realy became like a brother. I couldnt imagine not having guy frinds to get wasted with and light shit on fire and fish and bitch about my gf too. If i was you i would just invite a old friend over and have some beer.... blow shit up too thats allways fun haha

 

[KaliRush]

tis the reason why I am here drinking by myself at 3pm while my wife and daughter are at her relatives place.

These are the most important parts of a happy life that I have found in my limited time on this god forsaken rock

1: Make sure who you are with is the person you REALLY want to spend the rest of your life with. Sure she may seem like THE one during all the party years aka early 20's but once that ring and kid come along and all the partying stops, make sure you still have common interests or you're in for a world of misery

2: Have a kid when it really is the right time. Sure it's cliche to say there's never a good time but there is definitely a BETTER time.

3: Make sure you want to have kids in the first place. If you have this feeling that you really don't, don't convince yourself that it must be some weird immature phase that you'll grow out of. Because once you take the leap, there's no going back.

4: Once you are married, you will be overwhelmed by the amount of potential pussy that will approach you. It seems bitches look for a challenge so if you're not willing to accept this and cannot resist, don't get married.

5: It's not that you lose friends but more of that you're existing friends grow up and become enslaved in their own right and cannot escape the same black hole that you fell in to. Your goal now is to find those who are strong enough to resist the black hole and still have a functional social life though that is very rare.

Good luck and my condolences from someone who's there right now

 

[cellardweller]

awww...whos the mod with no sense of humor???

 

[CoonLover]

awww...whos the mod with no sense of humor???

Thanks to whoever it was.

Keep that garbage out of my threads

 

[Miss Blunted]

What about the woman who has a lot of male and female friends that end up having to give them up because the man grows. There is some isolation right there....women give up a lot of shit to marry you guys too....don't think we don't.

Luckily for my guy, I like him to smoke weed, drink his beer and leave me the fuck alone sometimes...haha, shit! I grow with him...I get covered in shit and dirt with him, I drink beer with him...I smoke out with him all day too.

Marriage can be awesome...I'm married without the paper work, and it's fucking great. Plus, we chose not to have children...just reptiles and cats (fuckin awesome). He knew he couldn't be with a chick that didn't smoke tree...and wasn't sort of a tomboy that will do fun shit with him (he actually won't mountain bike and play catch with ME).

You just gotta marry the right girl that understands the male brain a little, even if she's more "girly". It's give and take....some woman don't give enough, but some men take too much.. Who knows, I just smoked some pretty decent bud and I'm just typing...

I understand what you feel like... the situation you're in, I was the one in my relationship that gave up the social life for my man... my friends are more straight laced and I can't even risk the "wrong" person coming over, we have things to protect...I have him to constantly think of...his safety and freedom.....that's my man

 

[cellardweller]

I didnt put it in there.

 

[CoonLover]

I didnt put it in there.

Didn't say you did.