only in America

[chuckyoufarley]

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

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Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.​

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Only in America .....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.​

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Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.​

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Only in America .....do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
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Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.​

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EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?​

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Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?​

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Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?​

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Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?​

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Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?​

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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?​

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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?​

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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?​

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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?​

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Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?​

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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?​

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You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!​

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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?​

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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?​

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I like this one!!!
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?​

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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?​

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[madrecinco]

LMAO!

 

[DitBaMay]

It makes you wonder eh? haha post some more.

 

[Haps]

Cool dude, thanks.
H

 

[ReeferRon]

Why do we park on a driveway, and drive on a parkway?

 

[happyherb]

ive thought of some of those things before....some ppl say i think too much...some good ones in there .HH. =]-~

 

[L~B]

lmao

 

[icmag.is.#1]

Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

LOL that's the best

 

[teddybud]

rofl good stuff

 

[Smokin' Chopper]

How come I typically always have answers even for sarcastic questions? Seriously it baffles the wife but answers the kids.





Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. No, most 'drugstores' actually have the counter in front (at least in this area), grocery stores however do put the pharmacy at the back.

Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. I don't eat fast food, but carbonated sugary drinks are somewhat counter productive to the digestive process, so diet is perceived as better for digestion in that aspect.... still fast food sucks.

Only in America .....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Because gravity works, the chain keeps you from having to bend over to pick it up off the floor. If you really want to walk out of there with a pen, just take some of the ones in the little cup with the bank's name all over them.

Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.This does actually baffle me, I have a garage, its where I keep the chopper.

Only in America .....do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.This one baffles me too.

Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.Because the company that makes those buttons also uses those same buttons on entry/security devices used by the blind. Why re-invent the wheel?

Why does the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?Its the UV rays affect on the pigmentation process of our skin... without going into a massive explanation I'll just say this: Hair doesn't protect the skin from UV rays, so the skin tries to protect itself, and alters the chemicals in the hair to cooperate... vague, archaic, and somewhat crude description but that's the bare minimum of it...


Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?My wife does all the time, is your woman challenged or something?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?Because they don't 'see' near as much as they'd like us to believe.

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?Alright... do your own research here, but I'll give you a hint, check its Latin roots.

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?I would suspect Latin to be a factor in this too.... but doctors are not my friends anyway and this term does in fact scare me.

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?Many people don't like the bitterness of lemons so they sweeten it up a bit with a similated flavor. However real lemons have some kick ass cleaning properties due to the natural acids contained in them.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?Again... Latin.

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?Because every asshole that seems to work a 9-5 is trying to 'rush' home as quickly as possible only to cause a bottleneck everywhere resulting in massive amounts of bad language and road rage.

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?Because mouse tastes like a cross between chicken and beef anyway.

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?They wouldn't have been on board, science has proven the flood wasn't nearly as 'global' as they once thought. Mosquitoe larvae were protected by the very water flooding the place anyway.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?To prevent the risk of accidental cross-contamination.... remember its not only the convict that comes into contact with those needles... one false slip and a quick jab is possible.

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!That little black box isn't exactly indestructible, its just small enough that its unlikely to be destroyed beyond its use.

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?There's a vast difference in dried wool and growing hair. Once its sheared it can no longer benefit from the natural oils produced by the epidermis.... More info than you needed?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?That damn Latin keeps popping up everywhere doesn't it?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?See above... "con" can also mean 'gathering' when used in certain 'con'text.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?They don't....... they call the airport, "the airport". They call the 'path' leading to the planes a terminal because its basically the 'end of the line'.


Sorry, couldn't resist.


SC

 

[CaptainStoner]

How come I typically always have answers even for sarcastic questions? Seriously it baffles the wife but answers the kids.
SC

Here in the UK we call that being a smart arse. It is not a desirable trait to cultivate.

Most of those "only in america" things happen here too. Lol @ us all

 

[Rollin Face]

Yeah bra', if it wasnt obvious, this was a fun/joke, kinda took away from the fun when its ripped apart by wise cracks and on the spot logic. Diggin' the thread Farley...keep em coming!!

 

[ROJO145]

LOL....Only in America!!

 

[buttyrekka]

cool thread and all that.but fuck man those big bright letters burned my retinas.jesus it felt like i was watching an eclipse/the sun.i was reading the litttle black letters on a white screen.i get a bit close i know(bad eyesite)then i read your thread and the letters i still see them when i close my eyes!maybe its nevilles.

 

[GreenThumbelina]

lol, funny stuff...

 

[CANNACO-OP]

was kind of funny with the smart ass remarks from smokin chopper


Only in america can we bail out wall street and the big banks, the big auto mfg, basically everyone, but we can't legalize weed, only in america!

still, its pretty alright by me!

 

[LiLWaynE]

what did you write there chuck? im having a hard time reading it...

 

[ocean99]

Only in america can you make a healthy buck and keep your attitude on self destruct.

 

[Pops]

Here in America, they used to put pictures of criminals in the Post office. Why? Do they want us to write to them? They should just put their pictures on stamps and then the mailman can look for them while he is delivering mail!

 

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