Post Bush Humor

[genkisan]

One day after Jan 20 th 2009......

One sunny day in February 2009 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.

He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, 'I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.'

The Marine looked at the man and said, 'Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.'

The old man said, 'Okay' and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, 'I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.'

The Marine again told the man, 'Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.'

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying 'I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.'

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said:
'Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?'

The old man looked at the Marine and said, 'Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.'

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said:
'Yes Sir! See you tomorrow.'

 

[steppinRazor]

just trading one clown for another

 

[KharmaGirl]

^^^ Sadly, that comment could refer to Canadian politics at the moment too........oi, what a clusterfuck....

Loved the joke, Genk

 

[okwildfire]

just trading one clown for another

and the biggest one of all...mark my word's.....lol i've heard this joke before..just every time i've read it...it was about the 'ol muppet face...the HILDABEAST lol.

 

[BadTicket]

Quotes

Quotes

Bushisms

"The best way to find these terrorists who hide in holes is to get people coming forth to describe the location of the hole, is to give clues and data."


"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."


"Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace."


"I'm the master of low expectations."


"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."


"You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order—order out of chaos. But we will."


''I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe—I believe what I believe is right."


"Our nation must come together to unite."


"He (Giuliani) has certainly earned a reputation as a fantastic mayor, because the results speak for themselves. I mean, New York's a safer place for him to be."


"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."


"It's evolutionary, going from governor to president, and this is a significant step, to be able to vote for yourself on the ballot, and I'll be able to do so next fall, I hope."


"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."


"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."


"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor just like you like to be liked yourself."


"I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office."


"A lot of times in politics you have people look you in the eye and tell you what's not on their mind."


"And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq."


"Let me start off by saying that in 2000 I said, 'Vote for me. I'm an agent of change.' In 2004, I said, 'I'm not interested in change --I want to continue as president.' Every candidate has got to say 'change.' That's what the American people expect."


"We're going to -- we'll be sending a person on the ground there pretty soon to help implement the malaria initiative, and that initiative will mean spreading nets and insecticides throughout the country so that we can see a reduction in death of young children that -- a death that we can cure."


"All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone."


"I've got God's shoulder to cry on. And I cry a lot. I do a lot of crying in this job. I'll bet I've shed more tears than you can count, as president."


"I've heard he's (Tony Blair) been called Bush's poodle. He's bigger than that."


"There are jobs Americans aren't doing. ... If you've got a chicken factory, a chicken-plucking factory, or whatever you call them, you know what I'm talking about."


"There are some similarities, of course (between Iraq and Vietnam). Death is terrible."


"Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die."


"The Patriot Act has increased the flow of information within our government and it has helped break up terrorist cells in the United States of America. And the United States Congress was right to renew the terrorist act -- the Patriot Act."


"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."


"I think -- tide turning -- see, as I remember -- I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of -- it's easy to see a tide turn -- did I say those words?"

 

[GET MO]

At least the next president isnt an alcoholic dislexic cokehead...

 

[SomeGuy]

One day an adviser came running into the oval office and said,

Mr Bush! A thousand Brazilians were killed in a massive mudslide!!!!

Mr Bush looked thoughtful for a moment and looked at the adviser and said,

Thats TERRIBLE news!!! How many IS a brazillion anyway?

 

[hardhat22]

Rofl!!!!!!!!!!!
Please more.First time in 8 years that I've seen anything humorous at all about bush.
Peace

 

[steppinRazor]

Fuck Obama!!
I nomminate Sifl and Olly for President of the United States of America..

by far the best Puppets i've seen since bush!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92znpSXelJ8

 

[funker]

hey let's give the guy a chance before we freak out on him...it won't get any worse, he's not one of those fundies from the moral majority like bush...let's at least wait and see what he does with the DEA and the raids out in cali...

 

[kmk420kali]

Bush, upon leaving the White House...was asked, "What do yo think is the greatest thing you have accomplished as President?"
"Got away with it!!" was his reply--

Yeah...I made that one up...it wasn't difficult--

 

[zingablack]

ok so my jokes not about bush but it is about another dumb person. its kinda a joke to tell with friends while having a convo. but here goes.

whenever my friends are talking politics i say

me did you hear obama is hiring two people into the white house that you wouldnt believe

friend: o really who

me: get this bill clinton as chief of staff and you wont believe this he hired sarah palin but only to a job he thought she was capable of.

friend: o yea what job

me: on her knees assisting bill clinton any way possible.

yea i made it up and its a bit rough right now but lemme know what ya think

 

[~fvk~]

hey let's give the guy a chance before we freak out on him...it won't get any worse, he's not one of those fundies from the moral majority like bush...let's at least wait and see what he does with the DEA and the raids out in cali...

I think that's the last of the guy's priorities but hopefully Cali can smoke in peace while the rest of us still live in fear...