i am feelin pretty good this morning. woke up late, turned on CNN to listen too while i got ready for work. first thing i see on the television was a banner that reads: new congressional study says gulf war illness IS real.
now, i dont NEED congress or the army to tell me its real, ive lived with it for 17 years. 17 years of them telling us its all in our heads. 17 years of having friends die of brain cancer at much higher rates then the general population, have kids with birth defects at many times higher a rate than the gen. pop., brothers sucking down morphine, oxy, percs, vics, anti inflammatories, anti depressants, meds to help our bodies recover from the OTHER meds they give us! i didnt NEED to hear its real, BUT, i really did NEED to hear them admit it!
im at a high level of disability from the army already. now i know, in five more years, when my body has degenerated even more then it has now, i will be able to get my full benefits, with hopefully less resistance then we have met so far.
bad news is now i(we) have to take the scary statistics into account. the rates of terminal cancer, the chronic fatigue, the pain, the shaky hands, CRS(cant remember shit) the neurological disorders, the depression...the list goes on. good news, maybe now they will try to find a cure. 17 years is a long time to wait to get started, but maybe now they will, before more DIE.
i have been fighting the army(thousands of us have been) so long on this, im not sure the news has even settled yet. i dont know what to think. i dont even know what to do. i dont wanna be at work right now, i wanna be outside, somewhere quiet, and finally let out a breath ive been holding for close to two decades.....
now, i dont NEED congress or the army to tell me its real, ive lived with it for 17 years. 17 years of them telling us its all in our heads. 17 years of having friends die of brain cancer at much higher rates then the general population, have kids with birth defects at many times higher a rate than the gen. pop., brothers sucking down morphine, oxy, percs, vics, anti inflammatories, anti depressants, meds to help our bodies recover from the OTHER meds they give us! i didnt NEED to hear its real, BUT, i really did NEED to hear them admit it!
im at a high level of disability from the army already. now i know, in five more years, when my body has degenerated even more then it has now, i will be able to get my full benefits, with hopefully less resistance then we have met so far.
bad news is now i(we) have to take the scary statistics into account. the rates of terminal cancer, the chronic fatigue, the pain, the shaky hands, CRS(cant remember shit) the neurological disorders, the depression...the list goes on. good news, maybe now they will try to find a cure. 17 years is a long time to wait to get started, but maybe now they will, before more DIE.
i have been fighting the army(thousands of us have been) so long on this, im not sure the news has even settled yet. i dont know what to think. i dont even know what to do. i dont wanna be at work right now, i wanna be outside, somewhere quiet, and finally let out a breath ive been holding for close to two decades.....