The Therapy Thread

[inverse]

The point of this thread is to give us a place to let out our pent up emotions, and get feedback and help from others if it's wanted. This will be a great thread for advice, or for ranting about whatever has been eating at you all day

I think it's important that we have a place like this to let out our emotions. Unfortunately in the society we live in, people tend to be sort of closed off to the outside world, and for whatever reason don't reach out or care enough to really get to know one another. I feel like you're very lucky if you have just one friend who you can really share your deepest thoughts and emotions with without being self conscious or holding back. Lots of times you might even think you're having crazy thoughts, when in reality we all think similar things but are too shy to share. This is perfect for here because none of us know each other! This thread will also cut down on all the individual threads that get created, such as yummybud's (haha).

I guess since i'm creating this thread, i should share first. Right now i've been in a relationship for 4 years (im 21), but i'm really unsure about where to go with it. I love this girl, but it seems like our passion has been slowly dying. I can imagine really letting loose and having a hell of a time as a single dude, but i also recognize that losing this girl could be devestating for me. Shes been the most important person in my life for the last 4 years. I just don't know if it will work for the rest of our lives :-/. Any advice? i know i didn't give a lot of info, but maybe some of you have been in a similar situation?

 

[zingablack]

ok well ive never been in a long relationship but heres my input. keep trying really hard to make it work and if it still doesnt seem that it will than it probably wont.

o well my problem isnt really solveable sp. ok im living with my brother and hes anti anything mind altering. this is a problem because im a major weed smoker and my favorite hobby is growing. i cant really toke up because he says he might just randomly give me a test. i told him when i moved here that it takes me 2 months to get clean. i did this to give me a little while to smoke and slowly stop. well that 2 months is up and now im stressed alot cause we disagree on so many levels. if i get caught with it or with it in my system than im kicked out. i kinda have to listen to him to cause he is paying my share of my college tuition granted its not much community college but still. also i cant move back home for reasons that i think i created a thread about. pretty much im asking how can i deal with all this without toking, what do you do to unwind. i cant wait till im out on my own so i can blaze and grow to my hearts content.

 

[whiterabbit9]

dude i have so many fucked problems

its a miracle im still alive

 

[Ipsissimus]

Dr. Ipsissimus, checking in.

I love this girl, but it seems like our passion has been slowly dying.

These feelings are usually mutual. While it is not always the easiest, being up front is usually surprisingly rewarding in such a situation. Plus, not communicating about how things are going is a relationship killer.

In some of my first relationships it was difficult to even bring up the notion of breaking up, but this is more of a testament to a maturity level in our relationship that wasn't there...perhaps part of the problem.

z: dude, your brother is going to drug test you? WTF! This is all ass backwards. If you made an agreement with your brother, HONOR IT, or tell him you were wrong and you will be unable to do that. If are unable to NOT smoke, and it is a precondition to your brother's support, then tell him you will have to decline his support respectfully, and go get your shit together. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

I'm more curious how you got yourself into this mess. Why not have a candid conversation about your brothers beliefs about pot? If his concern is your grades, why not make the terms for support about the grades?

 

[madrecinco]

WEED IS A GOOD AND SAFE MED!

WEED IS A GOOD AND SAFE MED!

ok well ive never been in a long relationship but heres my input. keep trying really hard to make it work and if it still doesnt seem that it will than it probably wont.

o well my problem isnt really solveable sp. ok im living with my brother and hes anti anything mind altering. this is a problem because im a major weed smoker and my favorite hobby is growing. i cant really toke up because he says he might just randomly give me a test. i told him when i moved here that it takes me 2 months to get clean. i did this to give me a little while to smoke and slowly stop. well that 2 months is up and now im stressed alot cause we disagree on so many levels. if i get caught with it or with it in my system than im kicked out. i kinda have to listen to him to cause he is paying my share of my college tuition granted its not much community college but still. also i cant move back home for reasons that i think i created a thread about. pretty much im asking how can i deal with all this without toking, what do you do to unwind. i cant wait till im out on my own so i can blaze and grow to my hearts content.

Ya know kiddo ...a stoner is a stoner is a stoner......

I have smoked since the sixties when I was a young teen...the man I was married to for many years was a drinkin' military man who hated stoners...
So we had many problems because of it...
But I also became a nurse and in my career I had to quit because frequent drug testing when narcotic count would come up with a deficit and we had to drug test to see who was dipping into the narcs... So you could still lose your career just for pot...
So I gave it up to not lose my lucrative career and to make my husband happier...
BUT I NEVER QUIT MISSING IT!!!! i would even dream about it...

but I now am semi-retired due to disability and now work for MMJ movement on the East Coast for sick people who need it. Lots of grow houses here in Hernando County...which is near me...2nd after California I heard...

My dear husband died from prostate cancer caused by Agent Orange and my new man is more enlightened and tolerant of my weed use.

But a stoner is a stoner and non-stoners just don't understand... ya just have to live your life according to your own mores and not your families...they MAY NEVER UNDERSTAND!

BUT FACE IT...POT is a safe and basically harmless indulgence and it relieves lots of suffering in sick people.
And please stay in school and get your degree as education is a good thing and is absolutley needed these days...
and work for the movement and help others understand that POT IS NOT BAD and can be quite helpful for those of us who suffer disabilities...

 

[zingablack]

ok to put it short. when i was living at home my aunt who tokes was snooping trying to get me in trouble. she hates me. o yea shes part owner in the house with my mom and her other sisters. well she found the mother load. around 10 pieces, an ounce of some purple and a few dank nugs from my last harvest, scale, and a grand. she convinced my other aunts to force my mom to kick me out. i had nowhere to go cept my dads or brothers. my dad is a total ego freak and doesnt think about anybody else. i have previously lived with my bro my fresman and soph year of high school for unrelated reasons. well that ended with me having to move back home cause of constant bickering. ive had the pot convo with him many times and i told him as soon as im out of his house im back to blazing. hes not only against drugs but everything mind altering even to extremes. no coffee, alchohal sp, pretty much everything specially if its illegal. i dont feal physical urge to smoke but i just really like it. i dont have to and im sure that i can go a few years without tokin up but its a major part of my life. its just so frustrating living with somone that has pretty much opposite views about life. believe it or not that was the short version, i swear i could write a book

 

[C6H6]

i told him when i moved here that it takes me 2 months to get clean. i did this to give me a little while to smoke and slowly stop. well that 2 months is up and now im stressed alot cause we disagree on so many levels. if i get caught with it or with it in my system than im kicked out. i kinda have to listen to him to cause he is paying my share of my college tuition granted its not much community college but still.

sorry to say it but try smoking ciggs. while i dont condone it Nicotene is a stimulant that may be just the kick in the ass that you need to. and if that doesn't work expierment with fragrences, like lavnder which had certian relaxing and calming effects. sounds crazy but it could work and if it doesn't well you aint out that much money

I love this girl, but it seems like our passion has been slowly dying.

theres one simple solution if you really do care for this girl....TALK TO HER!! state your problems(with her/life in genneral), fears, ect. the only way the ONLY way to get through this is with communication no short cuts no nuttin.

1) no kicking, biting, punching, yelling or name calling. when your emotions get to high your brain secreates a chemical that impares your judgment (think of "blind rage") and rational decisions go out the window. not only that but by getting mad at the other person it puts them into a defensive state and once again communication goes to shit. its easier said then done when someone is telling you what they dont like about you or what your doing that pisses them off but it must be heard so dont take anything thats said personally.

2) make a list. now you might think you can remember all your problems but im willing to bet youll leave out a few, so make a list of shit thats bugging you weather it be with her or your life in genneral that way then you reach #3 you can have a nice long deep discussion.

3) set a time to talk. set a time that works for both of you where both of you can talk with minimal distractions this includes the TV all your attention must be on eachother.

4) only one person talks at a time, be attentive and listen her opinion is just as importrant as yoursl

5) comprimise. this is important, as Fred durst said in take a look around "with the good comes the bad the bad comes the good" your gonna have to give up some thing and so is she and you may not like what has to be done but if you do truely love this girl then the rewards will be unimiginable, a happy life together.



now as for what im going through is kinda my own fault due to the life i have choose. i spend every waking moment studying just to keep up with classes, im not necessarly smart but im very persistane which i believe counts for a lot more. recently i hit a wall, started preparing for a math test well in advance working the extra problems going in to office hours all the things a good student should do and i failed the test horriably. not only that took another test lastnight 'physics' and ill be very supprised if i get above a 30% this test was something that nightmares are made of. this isnt the problem though like i said i brought this upon my self, my problem is that im trying to cope with the fact that it is quite possiable that im going to have to retake this smester because of these classes. The only reason that i didn't drop is because i talked to each of my teachers, who know me by name, and they said that there is a snowballs chance in hell that i can pass the classes with a C which is all i need but after lastnights test im really second guessing my decision to stick with it. anywho thats my story

 

[Ipsissimus]

there's no concept that cant be taught with a willing learner and patience...find different ways to learn the concepts.

and dude

sorry to say it but try smoking ciggs. while i dont condone it Nicotene is a stimulant that may be just the kick in the ass that you need to.

this is, without a doubt, the worst advice I have ever heard in my life.

 

[zingablack]

haha yea i smoke ciggs every once in a while. its getting to the point tho that i get a headache when i dont for a day or so. so im goin to quit for a few weeks. and i hate that i smoke baccy when they fight against legalization. im actually think im done with it for good.

 

[zingablack]

bump cause this is a great thread

 

[inverse]

wow thanks for all the help guys. I really appreciate your insights
I don't want this thread to be just about me though...guys post up how you're feeling!

right now i just cant stop smiling after my first smoke of this homegrown ak-47 which i jsut harvested from my backyard.

 

[zingablack]

sounds nice man.

 

[inverse]

now as for what im going through is kinda my own fault due to the life i have choose. i spend every waking moment studying just to keep up with classes, im not necessarly smart but im very persistane which i believe counts for a lot more. recently i hit a wall, started preparing for a math test well in advance working the extra problems going in to office hours all the things a good student should do and i failed the test horriably. not only that took another test lastnight 'physics' and ill be very supprised if i get above a 30% this test was something that nightmares are made of. this isnt the problem though like i said i brought this upon my self, my problem is that im trying to cope with the fact that it is quite possiable that im going to have to retake this smester because of these classes. The only reason that i didn't drop is because i talked to each of my teachers, who know me by name, and they said that there is a snowballs chance in hell that i can pass the classes with a C which is all i need but after lastnights test im really second guessing my decision to stick with it. anywho thats my story

i think i can relate to what you're going through. Do you really KNOW what you're working towards in your school? If you don't have some sort of goal or career in mind that you're happy about, doing well in school is suprisingly hard. Even if you do end up retaking the semester though, as long as you know what you want, i think you'll suceed. If you don't know what you want in your future (like most of us) maybe you need to take a semester off, travel if you can, and get some inspiration