Could you give away your children ?

[BiG H3rB Tr3E]

your significant other comes into a large amount of money,,,and with trouble in the relationship>>she is ready to "take the money and run",, but the two have children and she wants to take the kids to her home country with her family

my question::if you knew that your children would have a more prosperous life without you, could you give them away?

what if you were allowed contact with the children?

what if you were not allowed contact?

 

[gmb]

Depnds on a lot of things. If I wasn't allowed any contact, absolutely not. I couldn't imagine life without my son in it, even if it just was occasionally. If I was allowed contact, possibly, but it depends on how often and how far away. Once the kid(s) get a older, this scenario wouldn't really matter because they'll be able to make their own decisions. Also, do I even get a little bit of money?

 

[Stoner4Life]

No problem,
That movie 'Joe Dirt', that was based on the true
story of me abandoning his ass while he was in the
bathroom of an old Sinclair Gas station, the 'Grand
Canyon' angle was done for human interest, I spose.......

 

[GET MO]

GIVE AWAY???? Fuck that! Id sell um tho...

 

[FreezerBoy]

I knew a poor little rich boy once. He got a Citroen-Maserati for his 18th birthday. It wasn't what he wanted so he threw a tantrum and so his folks traded it for a V-12 Jag XKE which he promptly wrapped around a lamp post. So his folks got him a 350 SL Mercedes as a consolation prize.

Money didn't do this guy a lick of good. He was a decent fellow inside but had no clue about limits, responsibility, self worth, accomplishment. Neither of his parents (divorced) had time for him so just threw money at him to distract him while they went their own way. What he needed was parents, someone to look up to, someone to take him behind the wood shed.

Yeah, he grew out of it ... in his 40's.

 

[BiG H3rB Tr3E]

I knew a poor little rich boy once. He got a Citroen-Maserati for his 18th birthday. It wasn't what he wanted so he threw a tantrum and so his folks traded it for a V-12 Jag XKE which he promptly wrapped around a lamp post. So his folks got him a 350 SL Mercedes as a consolation prize.

Money didn't do this guy a lick of good. He was a decent fellow inside but had no clue about limits, responsibility, self worth, accomplishment. Neither of his parents (divorced) had time for him so just threw money at him to distract him while they went their own way. What he needed was parents, someone to look up to, someone to take him behind the wood shed.

Yeah, he grew out of it ... in his 40's.

maserati,,,a jag,,and a benz?? will they adopt me?

my first car was old lincoln continental. ran like shit>>>ate up tons of gas>>>cost me $400 ::: but damn did i lov that car...

 

[bentom187]

if they take the kid and both parents dont consent,or have some kind of court hearing for FULL custady(spell check).i think thats called abduction.

 

[FreezerBoy]

damn did i lov that car...

And if you were like me you probably maintained it yourself. First person I asked for help was Dad who told me to call my Uncle. OK, so Dad couldn't fix a car but, my Uncle sure could and I remember those times with great fondness.

 

[ureapwhatusow]

your significant other comes into a large amount of money,,,and with trouble in the relationship>>she is ready to "take the money and run",, but the two have children and she wants to take the kids to her home country with her family

my question::if you knew that your children would have a more prosperous life without you, could you give them away?

what if you were allowed contact with the children?

what if you were not allowed contact?

No Fucking Way, prosperity without love is why we have such apathy and lack of moral homogeny and direction in America. They are raised believing nothing more than a random chance and life has no meaning. You dont have to beleive in a God to understand the tenents of love.

Bottom line people are bringing children into this world without the intention of giving them the same undying loyalty and commitment they expect from a personal protection dog like a pit bull is absolutely fucked.

Peoples pets have more integrity than people and that fucking sucks

NOT YOU specifically (this isnt a bash thread), but the whole conception that kids need less than everything we got to give.

here are particular thoughts and experiences in this case.


A) Running from trouble is not a indicator of genius parenting skill, her desire to fix things by avoidance will be taught to the kids

B) Children need thier biological parents, both, for healthy up bringing (I payed plenty to hear from one of contries leading forensic pyschologists and nuerologists that even if a parent is abusive, separation from biological parents leaves lifelong scars.)

C) How far detached are you if you are prepared to offer this scenrio? Has the relationship degraded and as a natural side effect are you somewhat detached making somehting like this SEEM more feasable?

D) Do you really believe that they will never ask themselves "why wasnt I important enough for my father to seek me aout and know me"

E) Do you really believe you will never ask yourself "where are my children, what tdo they lookl like? what kind of people are they? do they know I love them"? try fixing then.

IMO you both need to re evaluate your commitment to your children. Working on the relationship between the two of you should not require such drastic change. There may be a middle of the road, or a place where you can still bioth be parents and yourselves.

The efforts may see impossible but the benefits are life changing


I gave up everything 4 my kids, smoking weed, my grow, my career, everything and in the end, they are amazing kids, full of life and happiness, they have both parents in thier lives and both parents are enjoying the fruits of thier labor, life has transformed and so have I.

I know how hard it is to think about fix something that seems so broke, but I will make decision making easy for you

if the decision is good for everyone as a family (mom dad & kids) its a decent decision, if it is bad for ANYONE (mom dad or the kids) its not a decent decision.

There doesnt have to be casualties, you jsut have to let go of the feeligns regarding your significant other long enough to see through the chaos of a torrid relationship. A good way to start this is by shifting your focus from eachother to the kids

Good Luck I hope you make the decision tht makes for a best case scenerio for all

 

[barletta]

Yeah, Joe Dirte (throws the lil 'e' on the end of there to make it sound French..) would have never banged out Jamie Pressely ("I'm yer sister".) or 'Brandy' if you didn't leave him there, AND he got a Roadrunner AND he is best friends with Christopher Walken.. AND he helped Kickin Wing.

 

[zoolander]

No way ,I love my kid and she makes me laugh and I already give her a great life .

 

[flubnutz]

if i was goin straight down the sh*thole i wouldnt want them goin there. but if life was ok, no way id want to because id be afraid theyd grow up thinkin i abandoned them.

 

[hoosierdaddy]

I would never give any of my 4 kids away, especially if there is any profit to be made on the deal.

Just kicked our last one out of the nest.
My naked room is under construction!

 

[Mister Postman]

Never in 1,000,000 years would I believe for a second (no matter the money) that my own children would be better off without having me in their lives.

There is more to a father son/daughter relationship then providing them their needs/wants, and even necessity. Even if you are unable to offer any of the 3, there is a loving/caring relationship to be had if the effort is put forth on your part. That means everything IMO.. They may not like at times having to do without, but they will understand these situations with time. They will absolutely understand, hate and remember 100% being abandoned, and not having a parent in their lives.

 

[BiG H3rB Tr3E]

what if the father has a terminal condition,,,and most likely wont live to see the oldest one turn 10 years old ?

do you think it would be better for the children to know they have a father and have him die at an early age?

or do you think it would be beter for them to not know their father at all?

my fathers dad was murdered when he was only 7 years old and it destroyed his mindset

,,,he got into a lot of trouble young age..spent years in prision.. got of lock up,, became a tweeker///alcoholic >> and even to this day i know it still kills him to have lost his father

i know none of us our psychs or Dr.'s :::but your input is appreciated

please keep the responses real+true. much thanks. --BhT

 

[GET MO]

I would want to have my children with me till I passed, maybe Im bein greedy tho, thats a tough question, if you keep them informed about the situation I think it would be better for the kids. This kinda stuff effects everyone differantly, some kids may go down the wrong road regardless, Ive also seen kids go nuts, turn to drugs alcohol and everything and they had both parents together what seemed like hapily...
Id say if your gonna die soon then try to spend as much time with them as you can so you can at least influence them in a posative way until its time for you to go. Posative memorys are better than no memorys.