How much of drug use is just a substitute for a caring social support system?

[EatCannabisRaw]

long story short. some of you may remember i got caught with weed awhile back. stuck with it and ran. no, jk... i actually did and am taking the classes. I actually take 2 different sets of classes each week. and one of those is for substance abuse.

I'm not coming down on drugs. Don't get me wrong...

But these classes have made me realize something.. that having a group of people to get things off your chest...to talk to... to share support...is -so- amazing.

I was dreading going to these classes at first...but after a few times I started walking out feeling better about everything. Some weeks I would go in there and like... unload something that was on my chest...and bam it was off... I've never had that experience before.

And other people do the same.

I just wonder how much of drug use is a substitute for real love... and what I mean by that is not love between a man and woman... but just being in a group of people who actually care... who actually care about you...and your day

this may have nothing to do with weed, or drugs. maybe its just about my own personal realization... because honestly i haven't really had any people who have cared...or maybe i should say i haven't opened my own self up to actually even "care" about much or anyone in a long time...

honestly i never knew this existed. i mean this idea of love and caring and true friendships...truly caring about someone else...

its been away from my heart for a long time...

i feel that society is such that it turns us all into super-individuals. i suppose it feels hard to be connected... always on the go...people off to seperate workplaces...kids to practices..

what has been lost when people used to have dinner everynight as a family...is that real true sense of caring support... knowing that other people consider your world part of theirs... and vice versa...

you look at animals and they all pretty much (i would think) have a social tribe or network they exist in. how many just go solo? our closest relatives have families/groups. for a long ass time as humans we probably travelled as tribes/groups as hunters and gatherers.

And now its like we try to find that sense of support in our blackberries and facebook's and even our internet forums....

maybe its the best some of us can do....or get... and maybe its okay...

but there is truly something to be said about exchanging real physical energy with people... shaking their hands. feeling their nervous energy. feeling their anger and happiness... talking...sharing the day...

i think church is probably mainly about just that. it just feels good to gather as a group of people to celebrate something together as one. to come together...as something larger than yourself.

i have personally spent the last 12 years living for myself pretty much. except for a few girlfriends who i decided to give my "all" too... and have them breakup with me and my world completely end... that was not fun. but i realize probably i was going about things wrong. that i just need to care "in general" about more things than myself... because its what is right. its what we were meant to do.

we are not just one person. we exist really as a species i think. we truly are one in many ways. but aside from the philisophical, life is just so much better when its not just about you.

I want to wish myself and everyone reading this... that they can find a group of people to care about... and who can care about them... that we can all expand our boundaries... to spend more time with our families...good friends...relatives... to bring more people into our own sphere, as we can come into theirs...

Maybe most people on this board realize and live this way. But for me its sorta a realization.

Smiles,
ECR

 

[tenfeetofganja]

^^
ok. heres where i vastly disagree with so many others. Ive been to lifeline, AA, NA, Community Help, and DSD. All classes were court-mandated for one reason or another.

I have always been very seculisve, strong minded, strong willed with a sense of personal responsibility. However, I am also strong headed and very reluctant to listen to ignorance. So when I am FORCED to go to these groups im always getting into arguments with counselers, teachers, psychatrists, or other members.

Because most of these groups reinforce their values and the fact that without THEIR help, your worthless. Your so worthless and pathetics that you cant even help yourself. You must rely on these strangers to bring your life back to normalcy.

When I was in AA. I met people that told me they would KILL THEMSELFS if they didnt have these meetings. Then they would try and tell me that smoking weed is just as bad as drinking alcohol.

I finished all the programs but never graduated because I would never admit that i was an "addict" or an "alcoholic". Which really pissed them off.

They would always tell me "you see that resin in your pipe, thats whats in YOUR lungs!!!!" id always laff and tell them that "i only smoke cannabis rolled up with dry sieve kief in bob marley sized spliffs"

I also continually would make a point that comparing alcohol to cannabis is like comparing meth to cannabis or coca cola to milk... it just aint the same, smoking weed wouldnt make me want to kill myself if i couldnt go to meetings to talk to people about how bad weed is.. youd only find shit like that with alcohol.

Long story short, I believe these groups need to stop becoming so god damned reliant on members and court programs to justify their exsistance, as well as our people need to take some responsibility and think "well if alcohol is ruining my life, maybe i shouldnt go pick up another 5th"...

If anything these groups should reinforce personal responsibility and get some of these people a fucking hobby! if your going to talk about how shitty your life is THREE TIMES PER DAY than you need to get a hobby so your not always thinking about your down falls.

But the groups dont want you to get better. They want you to keep coming to group. To contribute money. To contribute time. To keep being the same loser you were and probably always will be.

TenFooT

 

[EatCannabisRaw]

the groups i go to our so laid back. people talk about how they like smoking pot at night becuase they like to get high. the guy doesn't even say anything. some talk about polishing off a 30 pack a night... thats when the guy usually speaks up. but mainly its just about sharing our experiences of life. maybe i'm just lucky with my groups...i don't know what it would be like to actually have someone tell me what i do is bad.

for instance i told the guy in front of the group the other day i plan on moving back to cali to grow... no one even said anything...its like not a big deal u know...

neways..whatever i hope to not judge anyone or put down cannabis. i just have realized that although i like drugs, i find having people to care about in life is pretty fucking awesome...and having people care about you. u know? having a heart i guess... neways thats all from me hehe

 

[vavwl]

Caring for others is actually a survival mechanism for us. If you don't care for anyone, or help anyone then when you need someone to help you or care for you no one will be there. Its very difficult to survive purely on your own, even in our modern society.

 

[Classyathome]

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle pot.

 

[GMT]

I can't help thinking that there is something in this. And the fact that drugs are illegal only amplifies this situation. Due to the risks involved from being caught, the comunities of drug takers are closer, perhaps not as reliable, but the increased trust between members needed for all to stay "safe", reinforces the need for strong bonds. This, to someone without particularly strong bonds in their life, may make the drug community more attractive to them. Add to that a low boredom threshold and the activities of scoring and finding somewhere safe to use become an exciting alternative to sitting at home and watching tv inbetween family arguements.

 

[EatCannabisRaw]

definitely..i mean drugs make you feel good... and if you can't get that from love, then what do you have? i remember a few years ago i decided to do some volunteer work. i've been telling myself i should do it for like 10 years and finally did. u know... i felt so good after that. only because i decided to put somebody else before myself. it was that simple and it made me feel great.

 

[dank.frank]

I can't help thinking that there is something in this. And the fact that drugs are illegal only amplifies this situation. Due to the risks involved from being caught, the comunities of drug takers are closer, perhaps not as reliable, but the increased trust between members needed for all to stay "safe", reinforces the need for strong bonds. This, to someone without particularly strong bonds in their life, may make the drug community more attractive to them. Add to that a low boredom threshold and the activities of scoring and finding somewhere safe to use become an exciting alternative to sitting at home and watching tv inbetween family arguements.

I think you are hitting on the high point of what was being said by the original poster. I do agree that on many vast levels we still are and will always be, nothing but mamals. A lot of our very basic habits and behaviors are repeated by every nation, culture, tribe...even if they have never meet or been informed of each others existance...in some way we are all the same creature. I think that people find saftey where they find comfort...and sometimes comfort only comes from escape. There are a million bars across America where people walk in, sit for hours getting trashed, pay and walk out and will do so every night for years. This isn't a person seeking companionship from anything but a substance. But I do see what is being said and I do think in some cases, the social networking needs "could" contribute to the appeal of drug use.

PERSONALLY....my "drug" friends...wether it be smoking or drinking....have always been "drug" friends. It always seems that they are the closest and the most trustworthy, as long as you are suiting their whims. But the minute you stop doing for them or doing what they are doing.....then you gotta go. And I'll tell you something else...they will always be the first to turn their back on you when the going gets tough. (just my experience)

So my companionship comes from my significant others. I can tell her anything...and I do. And the best part about it, she can tell me anything too...and I mean about me. 100% true honesty and 100% willingness to forgive and LISTENING....that is what makes it work. The poster said he had his "wow" moment while attending his meetings. Well, my "wow" moment came from my girl....being forgiven of things you think should get you hated, and truly forgiven...meaning, it's never even been brought up again, not even while arguing.....that was life changing to me. And being honest and clearing the air just made us appreciate each other more...anyway, if you can find that in a group of strangers or group of people that share similar interests or beliefs....why not your family or a spouse/girlfriend?

WAIT...I have an idea...let's all just pay shrinks so we can be programmed the way soicety wants us to think...after all, the ones we pay to care (drug dealer, bartender, shrink, counsler, meeting organizer) should care more than the people we come home to.....sorry, that just will never make sense to me.

 

[RED145]

Holy Shit.....I was gonna reply but then I realized I aint smart enough,LOL.....and you guy's do all this deep thinking AND smoke pot!!!
Talk about old toast........I think its cool when I remember to set the coffee maker up!!

 

[oldbongwater]

yeah dude you are lucky you got into a understanding councelling group, with a person in charge who is so laid back. i have been through a shitload of different court ordered sessions and most if not all were there to ram their idiology down your neck and tell you about all the things that could have happened (but fortunately didn't) because of the substance of the day. the coolest councellor i ran across was the one i had to see after being released from prison..she took one look at all the classes and (therapy) sessions i had been through and said "well by the looks of what you have been through i would say you have been through enough" and signed my release papers and i walked out a totally free man..by the way i never drank again after all that..but it was because i decided to quit, not because somebody told me i had to stop..just got tired of waking up with cottonmouth and a massive hangover..so now i take a couple hits here and there and everything is fine

don't need no nanny lookin at me

 

[bongcritter]

Human interaction is key....real life human interaction too...

In today's society, it's all too easy to just become a hermit and surround yourself with the material comforts that are offered in our modern day world.

For example, last year I lived with my brother and all I did was tend to the plants, smoke weed, and play WoW while talking to my guild buddies over a voice chat. I thought this was so fun and I was so happy doing this...Until I actually started going outside again. Wow, real life is so much better than the virtual one.

Kind of unrelated, but its how I personally related to this thread.

 

[EatCannabisRaw]

Well looking back I had this realization on 3-16 or so, and then it occured to me again tonight, while in class. I had forgotten my original realization...

I don't understand why I get so self-centered. Its crazy. I think its because i fear caring about other people...maybe from bad experiences in the past. But I have a big heart thats the problem.. i need to care and be cared for. Maybe someone else can relate to my original post.

I think the reason I have these realizations...is when i'm with a group of people...suddenly its not about just me anymore. It feels so good and so natural to be in a "group" ...like a "tribe"...

To me it feels more natural this way... I think the super ego of the 21st century is making us all unhappy! Its not just about us and it wasn't supposed to be!!!

Anyways I hope I'm not coming across like a know-it-all!!! I'm just saying!!!

 

[flubnutz]

as the wizard of oz said, "A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others." looks like youre on your way to rackin' up points

 

[ureapwhatusow]

I get by with a little help from my friends

Ohh

I get high with a little help from my friends

 

[ureapwhatusow]

Well looking back I had this realization on 3-16 or so, and then it occured to me again tonight, while in class. I had forgotten my original realization...

I don't understand why I get so self-centered. Its crazy. I think its because i fear caring about other people...maybe from bad experiences in the past. But I have a big heart thats the problem.. i need to care and be cared for. Maybe someone else can relate to my original post.

I think the reason I have these realizations...is when i'm with a group of people...suddenly its not about just me anymore. It feels so good and so natural to be in a "group" ...like a "tribe"...

To me it feels more natural this way... I think the super ego of the 21st century is making us all unhappy! Its not just about us and it wasn't supposed to be!!!

Anyways I hope I'm not coming across like a know-it-all!!! I'm just saying!!!

being self centered is the new standard in todays society

I heart broken people, fuck the perfect

 

[ureapwhatusow]

but if we are self centered it is easier to sell to us and keep selling to us

 

[flubnutz]

i dont think anything beats bringing happiness to people, not that im any good at it but when i think about it if i could do that to people and see their faces that honestly would beat owning ferraris, yachts etc. hands down, think about the times you made friends and loved ones truly spontaneously happy. puts me to mind of that old movie "a tree grows in brooklyn".

 

[EatCannabisRaw]

For me its just amazing how much time I spend by myself alot... I mean besides work.. I need to find more friends... reguardless of weed or anything else. thanks for the replies

 

[whiterabbit9]

its nice you share this with us

a la fight club

i am gonna try to find a group for people like me

 

[CaptainStoner]

Yeah, i see your point. Me i live with love and care right in the forefront of my life, also for the moment.

I find other people are more inclined to be like that when high. I always feel I know someone better when we've been stoned together. Otherwise the super ego gets in the way. Damn thinking about this depresses me cuz i know i'm in the minority, being like i am