A few weeks into my freshman year at college, I tried psilocybin mushrooms for the first time. The very next day I fired off a letter to my good buddy back home telling him about the experience. A little while back, he ran across this letter and sent me a scanned copy. I thought of posting the scanned images, but to save bandwidth I'm posting a transcript, exactly as written with all misspellings intact (for historical authenticity). I know it's a bit long, but I just couldn't bring myself to edit it. Only the names have been removed to protect the innocent. Now that I re-read it, I wasn't such a bad writer, even at 18. I even used a semi-colon!
For those of you younger than I, here's a little glossary of terms:
- jelly beans -- placidyl (a barbiturate)
- Goodies & Monty Python - comedy shows run on PBS late Sunday evenings
- doobie - I think you know that one
- Floyd - short for Pink Floyd, a rock band
- $100,000 - a REALLY expensive house, almost a mansion
Here is the letter (complete with illustration):
J–––,
It was absolutely imperative that I tell you this right away, that’s why I’m writing this letter. It enables me to collect my thoughts and I really have to relate this to somebody. My roommate brought back 7 jars of mushrooms. Sunday night he wasn’t there so me and E––– each ate a jar -- 5 a piece. Remember that talk we had on reality a while ago? Compared to what I experienced, that discussion didn’t even skim below the surface of what reality really is. We ate them at 6:45. Then a dude came over about 7:15 and we did a doobie and I gave him a jelly bean. We were just starting to get high. About 7:30 this chick I know called up and asked if we wanted to party & said she was down stairs. So she came up and we partyed. I wasn’t even getting anything from the smoke. By then we had the Black Lite and Floyd on. I was really starting to trip. When the light was on M–––‘s face and hair all blurred together when she moved. The whole world changed. Stationary things like walls looked all most normal, but anything that moved was distorted and blurs & I was starting to see colors where ever it was dark. Then we went out to play Frisbee and somehow got into M–––‘s car to go for a ride. I remember E––– kept telling me to maintain and I kept trying to get it across to him that I couldn’t. It got so I honestly couldn’t tell what was reality as compared to what I was seeing & experiencing. We drove out by M–––‘s house down Rte 30 West. In the car I was totally out of reality. I couldn’t actually believe anythings. Outside the car in the dark sky I saw geometric designs in bright red, purple & blue against a black background <like this>.
Then we went by her house. All the houses were all like $100,000 & up. There was a castle. Her house was on a lake. There was a house on an island in the lake. All the time we were driving around I saw those designs all over where ever it was dark. I kept thinking if I could only come back for a second to see what reality was like. But I never got paranoid, ever. It was completely great. Even when I got those scary thoughts, they were gone so fast it didn’t matter. You couldn’t concentrate on any one thing for more than what seemed like a split second.
By now I’d lost all track of time. After 7:30 I wasn’t aware of any time until we got back to watch the Goodies. While I was tripping it seemed like forever was passing right by. So many things were crammed into that trip that I couldn’t believe it only lasted about 2 1/2 hours. We parked by the lake and at first, for some reason I was afraid to get out. Then I got out. We were on sand. I couldn’t figure out what it was that we were walking on. There was water & houses. All the lites & their reflections were all different colors. I think I was walking on instinct only, cause I no that I never could have concentrated on something like that. We walked up by this pool that had a terrace over the lake. Its floor were boards that had space between them (like a pier). I knew there were SPACES. But sometimes, as we walked, the lite was different, I wondered if there really were. Even though I really knew. When I couldn’t see them I had doubts that they were really there. Then we drove around some more. I experienced more of the same – 2 WORDS that adequately describe the effects are: INTENSE and BIZARRE. Remember these. They are “keywords.” –
While we were on 30 I kept thinking “What if I had to drive right now.” I just couldn’t maintain; I couldn’t cope with things or bring myself back. It seemed like I didn’t say anything for at least 3-4 hours. It seemed that by the time I could say what I was thinking, I was already thinking something else. It seemed like I was trying to think about as many things as possible. It seemed like there was some answer I was looking for but I never could quite grasp it. Also at times I started laughing and couldn’t stop. I knew nothing was funny and when I finally convinced myself that was the case, I was able to stop. I also got into some really deep thinking during the coming down time (after Monty). I started to intermittantly make contact with reality during the Goodies. (Of course the Goodies & Monty Python aren’t good things to relate to upon reentering reality. They kind of make it hard to tell.)
During Monty I seemed to be more into reality that I was out. Later I was still sort of speeding. We smoked a joint so I could crash. Isn’t it ironic – smoking dope to come down. I felt pretty good in the morning. After the 1st trip, the initial shock & suprize wears off, supposedly & you learn to experience the trips better & control them. It seems that everything is a little different now because I’ve looked at things from a different view point. We’ll get into an in-depth discussion when I see you this week end.
Later,
J–––
For those of you younger than I, here's a little glossary of terms:
- jelly beans -- placidyl (a barbiturate)
- Goodies & Monty Python - comedy shows run on PBS late Sunday evenings
- doobie - I think you know that one
- Floyd - short for Pink Floyd, a rock band
- $100,000 - a REALLY expensive house, almost a mansion
Here is the letter (complete with illustration):
J–––,
It was absolutely imperative that I tell you this right away, that’s why I’m writing this letter. It enables me to collect my thoughts and I really have to relate this to somebody. My roommate brought back 7 jars of mushrooms. Sunday night he wasn’t there so me and E––– each ate a jar -- 5 a piece. Remember that talk we had on reality a while ago? Compared to what I experienced, that discussion didn’t even skim below the surface of what reality really is. We ate them at 6:45. Then a dude came over about 7:15 and we did a doobie and I gave him a jelly bean. We were just starting to get high. About 7:30 this chick I know called up and asked if we wanted to party & said she was down stairs. So she came up and we partyed. I wasn’t even getting anything from the smoke. By then we had the Black Lite and Floyd on. I was really starting to trip. When the light was on M–––‘s face and hair all blurred together when she moved. The whole world changed. Stationary things like walls looked all most normal, but anything that moved was distorted and blurs & I was starting to see colors where ever it was dark. Then we went out to play Frisbee and somehow got into M–––‘s car to go for a ride. I remember E––– kept telling me to maintain and I kept trying to get it across to him that I couldn’t. It got so I honestly couldn’t tell what was reality as compared to what I was seeing & experiencing. We drove out by M–––‘s house down Rte 30 West. In the car I was totally out of reality. I couldn’t actually believe anythings. Outside the car in the dark sky I saw geometric designs in bright red, purple & blue against a black background <like this>.
Then we went by her house. All the houses were all like $100,000 & up. There was a castle. Her house was on a lake. There was a house on an island in the lake. All the time we were driving around I saw those designs all over where ever it was dark. I kept thinking if I could only come back for a second to see what reality was like. But I never got paranoid, ever. It was completely great. Even when I got those scary thoughts, they were gone so fast it didn’t matter. You couldn’t concentrate on any one thing for more than what seemed like a split second.
By now I’d lost all track of time. After 7:30 I wasn’t aware of any time until we got back to watch the Goodies. While I was tripping it seemed like forever was passing right by. So many things were crammed into that trip that I couldn’t believe it only lasted about 2 1/2 hours. We parked by the lake and at first, for some reason I was afraid to get out. Then I got out. We were on sand. I couldn’t figure out what it was that we were walking on. There was water & houses. All the lites & their reflections were all different colors. I think I was walking on instinct only, cause I no that I never could have concentrated on something like that. We walked up by this pool that had a terrace over the lake. Its floor were boards that had space between them (like a pier). I knew there were SPACES. But sometimes, as we walked, the lite was different, I wondered if there really were. Even though I really knew. When I couldn’t see them I had doubts that they were really there. Then we drove around some more. I experienced more of the same – 2 WORDS that adequately describe the effects are: INTENSE and BIZARRE. Remember these. They are “keywords.” –
While we were on 30 I kept thinking “What if I had to drive right now.” I just couldn’t maintain; I couldn’t cope with things or bring myself back. It seemed like I didn’t say anything for at least 3-4 hours. It seemed that by the time I could say what I was thinking, I was already thinking something else. It seemed like I was trying to think about as many things as possible. It seemed like there was some answer I was looking for but I never could quite grasp it. Also at times I started laughing and couldn’t stop. I knew nothing was funny and when I finally convinced myself that was the case, I was able to stop. I also got into some really deep thinking during the coming down time (after Monty). I started to intermittantly make contact with reality during the Goodies. (Of course the Goodies & Monty Python aren’t good things to relate to upon reentering reality. They kind of make it hard to tell.)
During Monty I seemed to be more into reality that I was out. Later I was still sort of speeding. We smoked a joint so I could crash. Isn’t it ironic – smoking dope to come down. I felt pretty good in the morning. After the 1st trip, the initial shock & suprize wears off, supposedly & you learn to experience the trips better & control them. It seems that everything is a little different now because I’ve looked at things from a different view point. We’ll get into an in-depth discussion when I see you this week end.
Later,
J–––
