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G
Guest
Thanks, buzz.
Yes, the memo looks promising.
I'd initially posted a link to it here, but had second thoughts, and the nature of my circumstances would've been very similar to those of another person who wrote to them, and connections would have been more glaring than comfort zones might've appreciated.
Especially in light of it being an 'internal memo' that was only sent to commissioners, directly by the Governor, with there already likely being some questions as to how I got it..
We are, for now, changed back to a Telehealth/Zoom appt. for the same time, date, and Doc, and the Patient Care Coordinator has reviewed the memo (which they missed in the first volley of messaging we began yesterday). They believe it says the same things we and my legislator acquaintance interpret it as saying (it is written vaguely, and I suspect purposefully so). But the Patient Care person is going to show an e-copy of the memo to a primary nurse to the Doc I'll see, to get a final say on it.
Walking on pins and needles is something I was never good at in these sorts of situations. I could look officials in the eye and not blink or shake, but when I'm relying on someone else's interpretation of something, answers are not immediate, etc., I get more than a bit antsy. Another day that it's a good thing that I've mostly ceased coffee.
I'm heading for a morning dose of CBD, a vaporizer full of some White Lotus #3, and several oz. of broccoli sprouts, chew some of the Turkey Tail 'shrooms I made a tea out of 2 days ago, & catch up on the sleep that's been lost over the last week or so.
This whole interactive reality thing, relying on others' perspectives for necessary stuff, is more than a bit taxing. Like following someone who's had their turn signal on for the last mile or 3; "WHAT??!!! What are you going to DO???!!!"
--------------------------------------------------
John Mayer, Live
'Waiting on the World to Change'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4BQQdSdRD8
Yes, the memo looks promising.
I'd initially posted a link to it here, but had second thoughts, and the nature of my circumstances would've been very similar to those of another person who wrote to them, and connections would have been more glaring than comfort zones might've appreciated.
Especially in light of it being an 'internal memo' that was only sent to commissioners, directly by the Governor, with there already likely being some questions as to how I got it..
We are, for now, changed back to a Telehealth/Zoom appt. for the same time, date, and Doc, and the Patient Care Coordinator has reviewed the memo (which they missed in the first volley of messaging we began yesterday). They believe it says the same things we and my legislator acquaintance interpret it as saying (it is written vaguely, and I suspect purposefully so). But the Patient Care person is going to show an e-copy of the memo to a primary nurse to the Doc I'll see, to get a final say on it.
Walking on pins and needles is something I was never good at in these sorts of situations. I could look officials in the eye and not blink or shake, but when I'm relying on someone else's interpretation of something, answers are not immediate, etc., I get more than a bit antsy. Another day that it's a good thing that I've mostly ceased coffee.
I'm heading for a morning dose of CBD, a vaporizer full of some White Lotus #3, and several oz. of broccoli sprouts, chew some of the Turkey Tail 'shrooms I made a tea out of 2 days ago, & catch up on the sleep that's been lost over the last week or so.
This whole interactive reality thing, relying on others' perspectives for necessary stuff, is more than a bit taxing. Like following someone who's had their turn signal on for the last mile or 3; "WHAT??!!! What are you going to DO???!!!"
--------------------------------------------------
John Mayer, Live
'Waiting on the World to Change'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4BQQdSdRD8
i assure you there was no inherent subliminal message in the music link. it was something i thought, since we apparently have similar music preferences, you'd find inspiration in...and i don't believe you're arrogant...fwiw...and i also have a handle on fading peeps.
[youtubeif]qkefc0KOSEY[/youtubeif]
great news on not having to make that expensive and obviously unnecessary trip back and forth. maybe Murphy was busy with me and the old lady. when will your trip down be confirmed? mid March or so?
are you eating the TT after making tea? and if so, did they still have leather like qualities?
i have a half gallon baggie left of TT left from last year. never really knew what dosage would be appropriate, did you receive guidance on that? ...from the seller maybe?
thanks for the insight on the diabetes, maybe it'll help with her depression...especially the part about activity being important. that part i was vociferous about (apart from the dietary) the importance for fighting the SAD...maybe linked to vitamin D deficiency...
[youtubeif]qkefc0KOSEY[/youtubeif]
great news on not having to make that expensive and obviously unnecessary trip back and forth. maybe Murphy was busy with me and the old lady. when will your trip down be confirmed? mid March or so?
are you eating the TT after making tea? and if so, did they still have leather like qualities?
i have a half gallon baggie left of TT left from last year. never really knew what dosage would be appropriate, did you receive guidance on that? ...from the seller maybe?
thanks for the insight on the diabetes, maybe it'll help with her depression...especially the part about activity being important. that part i was vociferous about (apart from the dietary) the importance for fighting the SAD...maybe linked to vitamin D deficiency...
G
Guest
i assure you there was no inherent subliminal message in the music link. it was something i thought, since we apparently have similar music preferences, you'd find inspiration in...and i don't believe you're arrogant...fwiw...and i also have a handle on fading peeps.
[youtubeif]qkefc0KOSEY[/youtubeif]
great news on not having to make that expensive and obviously unnecessary trip back and forth. maybe Murphy was busy with me and the old lady. when will your trip down be confirmed? mid March or so?
are you eating the TT after making tea? and if so, did they still have leather like qualities?
i have a half gallon baggie left of TT left from last year. never really knew what dosage would be appropriate, did you receive guidance on that? ...from the seller maybe?
thanks for the insight on the diabetes, maybe it'll help with her depression...especially the part about activity being important. that part i was vociferous about (apart from the dietary) the importance for fighting the SAD...maybe linked to vitamin D deficiency...
Thank you, trich.
And I apologize for considering the initial over-interpretation, but glad I'd left it as a question rather than a fact.
Yes, I'm eating the Turkey Tail 'shrooms after they've been simmered for quite a while, with several batches of tea from one pot of water with them in it. Yes, they are tougher than shitake, but ore tender than Chaga, if that says anything. Considerably more tough than a simmered peyote button, in making peyote tea.
Please share with your wife, if you feel inclined, that I am and was a guy who LOVES good food, loved to cook, and grew up with good food, even when we were poor; referencing the contrast between domestic insanity and the smell of pecan maple sticky buns form another posts pages ago..
When I got my type II diagnosis 11 years ago, I had limited knowledge of the way carbs work (it's truly a numbers game, custom-tuned to each person's metabolism, and we don't get to find our own specific and unique boundaries until we find them. We can poke, or prod, finding them in gentle ways, or "wtf' ways by pushing them hard, but we will eventually find what our metabolism thinks is right).
I envisioned a horrible future of eating dried organic chow out of boxes, reminiscent of the 1970s pre-fab organic meals in a box, where the cardboard often tasted better than the contents.
I retreated to my old stand-by where life is concerned, when things -feel- like they are ripped from my control (maybe some of what your wife is feeling?), or seem to be, and I was going to get another Electraglide, cruise to the East Coast of Canada, to the Maritime Provinces, to a place I knew of out that way in the early 1970s, called 'The Tin Kettle/Copper Kettle(??)' or something like that, situated on the shore end of a pier, with a little shack that did fresh raw oysters, steamed clams, lobster, etc. I was going to party my ass off, binge on exceptional seafood, and call it quits, joining my family of origin members.
Over time, and getting past the initial shock (and the internal tantrum re. not having the level of control in my life that my OCD/PTSD sometimes requires), I found that I could eat most (not all, but most) of the things I used to eat, as long as they were made differently, with whole grains and/or better/healthier ingredients, keeping any carb sources reassigned to safer items, and being active on top of the dietary changes.
Some of it was discarding old, previously accepted falsehoods, some of which took years of reframing; the whole hippie era concept of rice being a good thing, for example. BS. Even, organic, brown, short-grain rice (my favorite rice in most cases) is LOADED with carbs; the primary difference being that complex carbs and whole grains, in most cases, take longer to process in the system, so even when the carb count looks higher (brown rice to white rice, as an example) the white rice releases sugar into the blood much more quickly than the brown, even though the brown rice typically has more total carbs.
Years later, an old-time country Doc up here, over a hundred miles from my home, who I would travel to see, after burning out on the local corporate clinic's nonsensical policies, straightened me out re. the concept of 'serving sizes' as written on packages. They are often nearly totally arbitrary, and the less attention we pay to them, instead honoring the math behind the actual nutritional value numbers, the better off we are.(*Tell your wife that if she isn't already, that this diagnosis will potentially make her a food products label-reading fanatic).
To make the journey a bit more convoluted, our metabolisms are rarely stuck in one place for years and years. As we age, or as our activity levels change, and as our organs struggle, our metabolic rates change, and so do our reactions to various foods.
I could, 6 months after diagnosis, get up at night, and eat 8-10 servings of watermelon. Love the stuff. And my glucose would not act like it got shot off the earth on a rocket, waking up the next morning, instead, with relatively legal numbers.
11 years later, and 2 kick-starts on the pancreas, after rapidly jerking numbers around, I can't do that as safely or as effectively as I once did. And she (your wife) maybe has the luxury now, not withstanding depression brought by the dx and other life changes, to include your pup, to change her diet and activity level less abruptly, so as not to invite some of the outrageous side-effects I had a couple months ago, where deficiencies are suspected to have bene at least partly involved in the palpitations, etc.
1 carb unit = 15 grams of carb. It was accepted for a long time that a person ought to be seeking 1 carb unit (15 grams of carb) for breakfast, or less, then 1-3 carb units for lunch and dinner. But that these balanced numbers cold be shifted, like money from savings into checking, or a monthly household budget. i.e., if I ate .5 carb units for breakfast (7.5 grams of carb) and 1 carb unit for lunch, then I could splurge at dinner and have my 3 carb units (45 grams).
Easy, right? but I'm a guy who counts mile-markers backward on the highway, to keep my brain awake, so a Rainman existence was already upon me, as part of my OCD/PTSD combo. Not everyone's cup of tea.
So, math where carbs and other nutrients are concerned, and food product label-reading like your life depends on it., because it does. That often leads to fewer store-bought processed foods for many folks; fewer adulterants, to include the mind-blowing eye-opener when a person realizes how many product s on the market have sugar added that are TOTALLY unnecessary.
(i.e. When you make a good Tex-Mex chili, do you put sugar in it?? me either. But go to your local grocery store, and read labels there, seeing how many brands of chili, even well-reputed name brands of canned chili, as one example, have sugar added to them; making America diabetic for the sale of profits, for the subconscious taste experience brought by sweeteners).
That's the beginning of my novella on Type II diabetes.
Also, recently, despite my having lots of sprouted whole grain breads (made with no sugar or honey) in the freezers, we've made our recent wheat-free breads with almond flour, coconut flour, and ground psyllium husks, radically increasing protein content, while decreasing carb content by LOTS. My metabolism has changed enough that the old sprouted whole grain bread is still too much, unless I'm making a half of a sandwich to go with a small bowl of soup or something.
In her experimenting, tell her, (and yourself) to keep an eye on glucose levels that I (in my own observations) are possibly the result of synergy under heat, between nutrient and carb sources. My primary example occurred here over time, involving moose stew; low fat, similar cholesterol to beef, but way more lean, etc. I would make moose stew, and other than for potatoes and carrots, and a drizzle of maple syrup, molasses, and some minor other carb sources, it was made of stuff that should have been diabetes-safe. Yet, I would eat a bowl of relatively healthy, often mostly organic, moose stew, and something was slighting the proverbial fuse under my glucose level's rocket. even now, on my newer vegan diet, when we puree veggies to make a thick base or broth for a vegan stew or chowder, I keep an eye on how I'm feeling.
When and if your wide gets her diet and body cleaned up for excess carbs and unnecessary or unhelpful dietary stuff, she may, as many do, be able to 'feel' when she ate something she shouldn't have, or that had a surprise punch to glucose levels. I used to describe that 'Oops' sensation as the equivalent of a 1/2-tab of a light dose of valium, with a 1/4 tab of something like Dexedrine. If you can fathom that experience in your mind. Or maybe you've been there in the past?
But if you let your body's systems and metabolism slowly shift back to where you don't want it, and the changes are more gradual, that sensory or experiential 'read' on glucose can be more difficult to discern.
Another classic symptom of having a higher glucose level over time, is a discernible sense lethargy, during which even simple tasks are tiring as all hell. Literally. If that is going on, check the blood more regularly, and make changes accordingly.
I hope she does well. And again, I apologize of there was any offense caused by my questioning the intent of messages, subliminal or otherwise.
Best of luck, and we have modified recipes here if you would like.
Bear in mind, if you NEED to add a limited amount of sweetener to a dish you're preparing, my own (and many others') observations have been that a small amount of (organic) maple syrup will bump your glucose far less than honey or sugar. Though, as you know, honey provides some amount of immune system benefit, especially the more locally it's produced/sourced.
In the beginning of my new path re. diabetes when my diet was first being changed for the better, and I would walk into a café, or store that had a deli, smelling all the delectable smells, I would super-impose the image of a skull & cross-bones (death symbols) on those things that I knew were no longer acceptable, and I can tell you that mind game worked for me. no guarantees for others.
My eyes show no degeneration from diabetes at this time, and I don't have any pronounced peripheral neuropathy either; I've been fortunate in those regards. Some of those outcomes are the product of genetics, and some are a matter of diet and supplements.
If your wife wants to be proactive re. peripheral neuropathy, look up studies done/vetted/reviewed re. 'alpha lipoic acid'. Specifically a study where participants on the ALA side of the study were given 600 mg intravenously/day, and I believe it was FDA or NIH found that 600mg/day, did appear to reduce the risk of developing, or reduce the symptoms of, peripheral neuropathy. (*I gave up playing with syringes when I was 15 or 16 yrs. old, but I use the 600mg capsules, which are available fairly readily; read reviews and if you can find them, lab analysis of specific products, as not all supplements are equal in quality).
----------------------
I saw Jesse Colin Young and Leon Redbone at the University of Alaska Fairbanks concert hall shortly after John Lennon was shot. I went by myself, in a classic long Navy pea coat, and ate a hit of LSD beforehand. JCY's encore was John Lennon's imagine. A bit much for a good dose of acid, but more than fitting for the time. Acid tears.
Jesse Colin Young
'Get Together'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgo7jZzW7Jw
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G
Guest
Currently have calls in to a couple of major players inside the administration's hierarchy, to see if they'll come across with a definitive "Yes, Telehealth is definitely back on," and to see who is willing to stick their neck out far enough on such a determination as to whose name and number I can give to the Seattle surgeon's folks, to get us all further away from the edge of this thing.
Many seem gung-ho to say, "You're fine!!" right up until you ask if they'll be a formal contact person for the purpose of verifying T-health is good to go, at which point the call gets transferred to another person, or another name and phone number are offered to me.
That all tells me that in bureaucracy, it's not much different than the military or any other Beast that's grown too damned big; no one wants to be seen as outside the proverbial wire or to stick their neck out, even if making a logical and helpful decision or action.
The rules seem to include, always defer to another person to take the 'hit', never speak candidly, don't make waves, keep your name out of print, go along to get along, and what ever you do, don't embarrass anyone above you in the hierarchy, no matter how madly they deserve to be embarrassed.
In other words, our systems reinforce mediocrity where services to the public are concerned. So it shouldn't be any wonder as to why we have what we do, in the way of public service and effectiveness.
-------------------------------------------------
David Bromberg, Live, 1977
'Send Me to the 'Lectric Chair'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVSDnAoRfQE
Many seem gung-ho to say, "You're fine!!" right up until you ask if they'll be a formal contact person for the purpose of verifying T-health is good to go, at which point the call gets transferred to another person, or another name and phone number are offered to me.
That all tells me that in bureaucracy, it's not much different than the military or any other Beast that's grown too damned big; no one wants to be seen as outside the proverbial wire or to stick their neck out, even if making a logical and helpful decision or action.
The rules seem to include, always defer to another person to take the 'hit', never speak candidly, don't make waves, keep your name out of print, go along to get along, and what ever you do, don't embarrass anyone above you in the hierarchy, no matter how madly they deserve to be embarrassed.
In other words, our systems reinforce mediocrity where services to the public are concerned. So it shouldn't be any wonder as to why we have what we do, in the way of public service and effectiveness.
-------------------------------------------------
David Bromberg, Live, 1977
'Send Me to the 'Lectric Chair'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVSDnAoRfQE
G
Guest
No return call from the Patient Care Scheduler I had been promised a call back from.
ONE returned call from a person at the State, who failed to get accurate information re. my issue, thinking instead I was asking about travel restrictions. I was not.
Went through the entire story with him, and he said he would try to access the people he needed to, to get to the bottom of it... after he tried to downplay the memo as being probably misrepresented, and actually applying only to State employees and Commissioners.
That's not how the memo reads to most other educated folks.
Got one email back from a State Senator who tried to fib his way through the entire failed history of why we've lost our emergency declaration and provisions, and by the time I received his bullshit, I had already accurately researched who said what and when. So I sent back a scathing email, including hard proof of his lying, telling him I'll be keeping his dishonest correspondence through his next election cycle, at which time it will likely become a focus of public discussions about representing one's party, versus representing the people who elected you.
"-OR- (I offered up as an alternative) YOU COULD DO YOUR JOB!!!"
So I'm packing, need to get to the store to buy some food items, and it looks like tomorrow I'll be in the air, flying into Seattle, risking C-19, so the politicians can play partisan games.
I look forward to a time in the future, when drinking establishments and restaurants are open more than currently, and there's an increased chance to coincidentally rub elbows with some of these folks. I have some things I'd like to express up close and personal. Something more real than the fibs they tell to avoid responsibility.
Back to packing.
----------------------------------------------------
John Prine
'Everybody'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaZeFIbYxr0
ONE returned call from a person at the State, who failed to get accurate information re. my issue, thinking instead I was asking about travel restrictions. I was not.
Went through the entire story with him, and he said he would try to access the people he needed to, to get to the bottom of it... after he tried to downplay the memo as being probably misrepresented, and actually applying only to State employees and Commissioners.
That's not how the memo reads to most other educated folks.
Got one email back from a State Senator who tried to fib his way through the entire failed history of why we've lost our emergency declaration and provisions, and by the time I received his bullshit, I had already accurately researched who said what and when. So I sent back a scathing email, including hard proof of his lying, telling him I'll be keeping his dishonest correspondence through his next election cycle, at which time it will likely become a focus of public discussions about representing one's party, versus representing the people who elected you.
"-OR- (I offered up as an alternative) YOU COULD DO YOUR JOB!!!"
So I'm packing, need to get to the store to buy some food items, and it looks like tomorrow I'll be in the air, flying into Seattle, risking C-19, so the politicians can play partisan games.
I look forward to a time in the future, when drinking establishments and restaurants are open more than currently, and there's an increased chance to coincidentally rub elbows with some of these folks. I have some things I'd like to express up close and personal. Something more real than the fibs they tell to avoid responsibility.
Back to packing.
----------------------------------------------------
John Prine
'Everybody'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaZeFIbYxr0
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Safe travels, moose eater.
I kept my watch cap and pea coat after discharge. Somewhere at some time we separated. I miss them both.
If you should find yourself by the sea in Seattle feel free to shout into the wind:
I kept my watch cap and pea coat after discharge. Somewhere at some time we separated. I miss them both.
If you should find yourself by the sea in Seattle feel free to shout into the wind:
G
Guest
Thanks, buzz. Again.
There was a fellow in Homer, Alaska in the later 1970s. His name was Russ (honestly), and he lived in a (converted) bus. Russ of Russ' bus fame. He had a Gordon Setter.. named.. Gordon (true as true can be).
One day I was driving down the Homer Spit, well before they built all the funky/ugly little tourist cabins for tourist businesses out there, back when the 'Spit rats' (cannery workers who would build tremendous, elaborate 'visqueen palaces' out of drift wood and poly sheeting; some of them simply amazing), were still permitted to camp for free out there...
On that day, as I was passing the base of the Spit, where it joins the mainland, there was Russ, facing Kachemak Bay, both arms raised straight up, but for a slight angle out to either side, his bandana on his head, wearing his Kedds sneakers he customarily wore, and it looked as though he was hollering at the Ocean that day.
He was a sizable man, long red hair and beard, and looked like a lumberjack-meets-hippie affair, with a strange twist of kids' tennis shoes and a bandana attached.
But I maintained that image of Russ, standing there, hollering at the Ocean, right up to this day.
That came back again, brightly, with your poem. Thanks.
Those were simple times, few attachments, few obligations, and a lot of life ahead. They were good times.
Thanks.
If you haven't seen it yet, check out 'The Last Full Measure'. Saw it on Hulu. Rattled some dust in my mental archives.
-------------------------------------------
The Everly Bros.
'Dream, Dream, Dream'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbU3zdAgiX8
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G
Guest
Thank you.
I have less congestion and pulse rate issues/stress/palpitations than before the last trip down, so I'm hoping that stays static.
So far, it seems OK. All I need to do is keep my space from others, and focus on my mission. Taking along a limited supply of Ativan in case I start to get panicked, but I haven't had a need to ingest such things in weeks now. Maybe a month, even.
Thanks for the kindness.
--------------------------------------
IZ
'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I
I had a Civil War fort that used to be my home hunkered hard against the sea. Nor'easters whipping in from the Atlantic required shouting from the ramparts. I hurt my neck trying to see where the words in the wind went. Russ waved them across the Pacific. Western repeater.
G
Guest
If you were a logistically closer neighbor, I think I'd enjoy your sitting around our camp-fire pit in the back yard, and passing some hash around. (COVID-safe visiting protocol these days, buzz; separate pipes). You have an incredible sense of humor and mental imagery going for you.
I have no idea where Russ ended up, nor his friend Ian. 2 good guys, whom we ate dinner on Russ' bus with a few times, along with his Gordon Setter, Gordon.
One of mine, written on several hits of acid, in a public park (Palmer Park) near Wyoming/Byron Center Michigan in about 1975, sitting around a camp fire in the woods, where we would trek into after the park gates had been locked, have our fire, and sing, play guitar, drink a bit of beer, smoke a lot of weed/hash, and sometimes do hallucinogens.:
Mother Earth, Mother Earth
How old are you today?
Man has walked and ruined here
And you are old and gray
Steel into your bright green,
and muddy murky water
Man has come, man has come
And you've begun to falter
He tore and wounded all that's yours
and left you here to ponder
Man has come, yes man has come
And you've begun to wonder.
-------------------------------------------
There's boxes of writing, some better and some worse, written on everything from napkins to scraps of cardboard to coffee filters, laying around here in boxes in closets, from decades ago.
Not one of my better works, and likely linkable to me, but that night, with 3 or 4 tabs in me, we found a 'Y' segment of a hardwood tree stump, and I got help carrying it out of the woods to my 1967 Oldsmobile 98, Luxury Sedan. We were healthy & strong, and that bugger still weighed bunch.
I took it home, continued eating LSD, locked myself in my bedroom, and got out my carving tools and wood burning set, and modified the stump piece into a sort of large sculpture, with a wooden image of a book from the craft store mounted to one leg of the 'Y' at the top, into which I burned that poem (irony??), among other things, and then cleared a square area of bark, wood-burned a morning glory vine and full moon behind the vine, into the face of it, and painted parts of that image, then mounted the base of it to a slightly larger diameter disc of birch, 2" or so thick, with the bark still on the remainder of the stump, and added 3 legs of birch branches to it so it could stand like a chair or table.
My mother thought it odd that I was sequestered in my room for several days, coming out at night to find some sort of food, and then going back in.
By day 3 she would occasionally stand at the top of the stairs, and call my name, asking if I was OK. "I'm fine mom.." grinning ear to ear with pupils like flying saucers, and going to town on that stump. 'Lost in Space.'
I have no idea where Russ ended up, nor his friend Ian. 2 good guys, whom we ate dinner on Russ' bus with a few times, along with his Gordon Setter, Gordon.
One of mine, written on several hits of acid, in a public park (Palmer Park) near Wyoming/Byron Center Michigan in about 1975, sitting around a camp fire in the woods, where we would trek into after the park gates had been locked, have our fire, and sing, play guitar, drink a bit of beer, smoke a lot of weed/hash, and sometimes do hallucinogens.:
Mother Earth, Mother Earth
How old are you today?
Man has walked and ruined here
And you are old and gray
Steel into your bright green,
and muddy murky water
Man has come, man has come
And you've begun to falter
He tore and wounded all that's yours
and left you here to ponder
Man has come, yes man has come
And you've begun to wonder.
-------------------------------------------
There's boxes of writing, some better and some worse, written on everything from napkins to scraps of cardboard to coffee filters, laying around here in boxes in closets, from decades ago.
Not one of my better works, and likely linkable to me, but that night, with 3 or 4 tabs in me, we found a 'Y' segment of a hardwood tree stump, and I got help carrying it out of the woods to my 1967 Oldsmobile 98, Luxury Sedan. We were healthy & strong, and that bugger still weighed bunch.
I took it home, continued eating LSD, locked myself in my bedroom, and got out my carving tools and wood burning set, and modified the stump piece into a sort of large sculpture, with a wooden image of a book from the craft store mounted to one leg of the 'Y' at the top, into which I burned that poem (irony??), among other things, and then cleared a square area of bark, wood-burned a morning glory vine and full moon behind the vine, into the face of it, and painted parts of that image, then mounted the base of it to a slightly larger diameter disc of birch, 2" or so thick, with the bark still on the remainder of the stump, and added 3 legs of birch branches to it so it could stand like a chair or table.
My mother thought it odd that I was sequestered in my room for several days, coming out at night to find some sort of food, and then going back in.
By day 3 she would occasionally stand at the top of the stairs, and call my name, asking if I was OK. "I'm fine mom.." grinning ear to ear with pupils like flying saucers, and going to town on that stump. 'Lost in Space.'
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G
Guest
trich.
Instrumental of 1 of my favorite instruments; SW North American, Central American, or South American pan flute.
Beautiful stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsE7sfh28u0
Instrumental of 1 of my favorite instruments; SW North American, Central American, or South American pan flute.
Beautiful stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsE7sfh28u0
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G
Guest
sdd420.
From 'The Last Waltz', a who's who of musical talent; The Band, Bob Dylan, Ronnie woods, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, Van Morrison, and too many amazingly talented persons to properly list.
'I Shall be Released'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBACxgvrCGo
And the very nice waltz from.. The Last Waltz;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi-SnEiRs-A
From 'The Last Waltz', a who's who of musical talent; The Band, Bob Dylan, Ronnie woods, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, Van Morrison, and too many amazingly talented persons to properly list.
'I Shall be Released'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBACxgvrCGo
And the very nice waltz from.. The Last Waltz;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi-SnEiRs-A
Definitely one of my favorites. I have always especially liked the Van Morrison set (caravan)
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Treacherous tide left me here
A beach was yesterday in this place
Rising water deceiving memories
Like laughter in my face.
Cold wind rode high the crests
Broken mast dipping in the drink
Was this afternoon a pleasant breeze
Would I just one more drink.
To brave the cold wet depths of despair
Surrender lifes warm breaths beauty
Choking down that one last swallow
Denying not death it’s duty.
The deep beckoning impatiently
Last sip the salty wine
You should have stayed at home
[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Saved us both the brine.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]..........[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][youtubeif]icZ3xXYl7bw[/youtubeif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]stay frosty
[/FONT]
A beach was yesterday in this place
Rising water deceiving memories
Like laughter in my face.
Cold wind rode high the crests
Broken mast dipping in the drink
Was this afternoon a pleasant breeze
Would I just one more drink.
To brave the cold wet depths of despair
Surrender lifes warm breaths beauty
Choking down that one last swallow
Denying not death it’s duty.
The deep beckoning impatiently
Last sip the salty wine
You should have stayed at home
[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Saved us both the brine.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]..........[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][youtubeif]icZ3xXYl7bw[/youtubeif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]stay frosty
[/FONT]
G
Guest
Thanks everyone. That was very nice.
Well...
I didn't like roller coasters or ferris wheels as a kid; the inertia and heights brought fear. No delight in uncertainty and fear of some sorts in my world.
And though I had already returned to a sleep schedule more in synch with most of my life; broken sleep or 'dyssomnia' (not withstanding the several months recently, post-diagnosis, during which I slept 12-16 hours on average each day), the fact is that for MANY years, the night before a trip, I don't sleep much at all... certainly not well, if I -am- able to sleep.
And so it was this morning, I was up packing until after 4:00 A.M., then at 4:30 AM, got back out of bed, eventually laying on the couch at about 5:30 AM, and drifting off to sleep.
At 8:30 AM the scheduler from the Doc's office I'm to see tomorrow, called the house, and she said the Doc had looked at the memo I'd sent, and said it was good, that "He's heard nothing of ending of Alaska's emergency COVID provisions, and that If it was going to end, (he'd) have been one of the first to hear it."
I thought for a moment about when the last time was that a Doc's ego had worked in my favor? Never before? Who knows? This was a new phenomenon for me, but with some risks involved... for both of us.
I tried to tell her that everything I've found from the State, says that the emergency provisions are, for now, toast, and Telehealth in general, in Alaska, let alone across state lines, is once again, for now, taboo.
(Mind you, we have villages enforcing their own travel restrictions in remote places, and Telehealth was a saving grace for their medically fragile folks and elders, but that's another issue.. sort of).
She insisted the provisions in Alaska are up and running. I know better. They are not. But I'm just a patient who lives here, and has been trying to wrestle this particular alligator.
She ended up stating, "Well, if you want to fly down to see us, you can do that, or we can keep the Telehealth appt."
On the bright side, cancelling the flight, and going back to the Telehealth appt., got my wife's 65,000 air miles returned to her acct. And I'll be here for a fuel oil run, though temps are now reported to be much colder this coming week than originally forecast, down to -35 f on several nights, and -10 to -20 f. for highs on some days.
I phoned my town car service dude, & let him know plans had changed.. again, as well as cancelling my lodging, etc.
But if Telehealth in Alaska is now taboo (and it is), then the Doc's billing is apt to be rejected by my insurance company, AND, if someone wanted to screw with his professional licensing, for going across state lines with a Telehealth appt to a state where he's not licensed, they could probably cause him some degree of grief. Title protection a 'la Alaska's medical lobby.. as expressed though past legislation.
Worst case for me is that insurance rejects the billing, I get a bill for the full fare, likely to be around $500, -or-, the Doc (and he seems like a pretty decent and honest fellow overall) can say to their accountants, "No, this was my fault; he tried to tell us this was not applicable any longer, so spare him the cost of this consultation, and make it 'on the house'."
He MIGHT be able to do that, but in today's modern Rockefeller Medicine, the clinics and hospitals tend to keep providers away from billing people, so as not to sully their perception or sense of their jobs, and the reality of expense of medical care in the US... (Obscene, by most standards). So the likelihood of them writing it off is questionable.
Either way, my wife has her 65,000 air miles back (to be better used on future medical flights, when seats cost fewer miles), I got to sleep most of the day (though now I have a lot of gear to unpack), I can meet with this Doc tomorrow morning, in the comfort of sweat pants, t-shirt & a bath robe, in my own house, and I'm now spared, for the time being, having to sit in a flying tuna can, with a quantifiable % of C-19 positive persons on-board.
Can someone tell me how long this roller coaster ride lasts?
-----------------------------------------
John Lennon
'Watching the Wheels Go 'Round'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVXR2LYeFBI
Well...
I didn't like roller coasters or ferris wheels as a kid; the inertia and heights brought fear. No delight in uncertainty and fear of some sorts in my world.
And though I had already returned to a sleep schedule more in synch with most of my life; broken sleep or 'dyssomnia' (not withstanding the several months recently, post-diagnosis, during which I slept 12-16 hours on average each day), the fact is that for MANY years, the night before a trip, I don't sleep much at all... certainly not well, if I -am- able to sleep.
And so it was this morning, I was up packing until after 4:00 A.M., then at 4:30 AM, got back out of bed, eventually laying on the couch at about 5:30 AM, and drifting off to sleep.
At 8:30 AM the scheduler from the Doc's office I'm to see tomorrow, called the house, and she said the Doc had looked at the memo I'd sent, and said it was good, that "He's heard nothing of ending of Alaska's emergency COVID provisions, and that If it was going to end, (he'd) have been one of the first to hear it."
I thought for a moment about when the last time was that a Doc's ego had worked in my favor? Never before? Who knows? This was a new phenomenon for me, but with some risks involved... for both of us.
I tried to tell her that everything I've found from the State, says that the emergency provisions are, for now, toast, and Telehealth in general, in Alaska, let alone across state lines, is once again, for now, taboo.
(Mind you, we have villages enforcing their own travel restrictions in remote places, and Telehealth was a saving grace for their medically fragile folks and elders, but that's another issue.. sort of).
She insisted the provisions in Alaska are up and running. I know better. They are not. But I'm just a patient who lives here, and has been trying to wrestle this particular alligator.
She ended up stating, "Well, if you want to fly down to see us, you can do that, or we can keep the Telehealth appt."
On the bright side, cancelling the flight, and going back to the Telehealth appt., got my wife's 65,000 air miles returned to her acct. And I'll be here for a fuel oil run, though temps are now reported to be much colder this coming week than originally forecast, down to -35 f on several nights, and -10 to -20 f. for highs on some days.
I phoned my town car service dude, & let him know plans had changed.. again, as well as cancelling my lodging, etc.
But if Telehealth in Alaska is now taboo (and it is), then the Doc's billing is apt to be rejected by my insurance company, AND, if someone wanted to screw with his professional licensing, for going across state lines with a Telehealth appt to a state where he's not licensed, they could probably cause him some degree of grief. Title protection a 'la Alaska's medical lobby.. as expressed though past legislation.
Worst case for me is that insurance rejects the billing, I get a bill for the full fare, likely to be around $500, -or-, the Doc (and he seems like a pretty decent and honest fellow overall) can say to their accountants, "No, this was my fault; he tried to tell us this was not applicable any longer, so spare him the cost of this consultation, and make it 'on the house'."
He MIGHT be able to do that, but in today's modern Rockefeller Medicine, the clinics and hospitals tend to keep providers away from billing people, so as not to sully their perception or sense of their jobs, and the reality of expense of medical care in the US... (Obscene, by most standards). So the likelihood of them writing it off is questionable.
Either way, my wife has her 65,000 air miles back (to be better used on future medical flights, when seats cost fewer miles), I got to sleep most of the day (though now I have a lot of gear to unpack), I can meet with this Doc tomorrow morning, in the comfort of sweat pants, t-shirt & a bath robe, in my own house, and I'm now spared, for the time being, having to sit in a flying tuna can, with a quantifiable % of C-19 positive persons on-board.
Can someone tell me how long this roller coaster ride lasts?
-----------------------------------------
John Lennon
'Watching the Wheels Go 'Round'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVXR2LYeFBI
Let me know when the highs start getting around 75F. I think I'd enjoy my sitting around your camp-fire pit in the backyard and passing some hash around too.
One minute 20 seconds
Attachments
G
Guest
Let me know when the highs start getting around 75F. I think I'd enjoy my sitting around your camp-fire pit in the backyard and passing some hash around too.
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One minute 20 seconds
We still occasionally get up into the +90 range in the summer, buzz, and later summer is fine time for halibut fishing out in the Gulf of Alaska. Mid-July, is our time for lake trout fishing, over in the Yukon Territory, Canada.
By moose season we're sometimes getting chilly again, but still having highs in the +50s to +60s most years, as opposed to significantly chillier moose hunting years ago.
On-line in minutes to speak with (what/we hope is) the final Doc's mtg., before making tx. decisions.
-------------------------------------
John Lennon
'Nobody Told Me'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuuhsqA95iA
G
Guest
Conversation with the Doc lasted about 50 minutes. My tendency to provide LOTS of detail was cutting into our time, however.
Highlights include that 1:200 patients experience bleeding during procedure that requires a transfusion; blood would be vetted for disease through standard protocols, but if needed, would not be my own.
My ventral hernia poses increased risk of stress to the muscles in the abdomen during the surgery, as 6 holes are made near the navel, during the surgery, and the abdomen is inflated to the extent that (as the Doc put it) the patient is about the equivalent of "6 months pregnant."
While the plant-based diet is likely helpful, controlling diabetes and weight probably have a far greater effect on outcomes and recovery than the plant-based diet. Insulin resistance may help the cancer to grow, and so having those numbers and related health indicators closer to right, matters a fair amount.
The sulforaphane (broccoli sprouts) and ^ lycopene intake (Mediterranean diet) have better/more research behind them for proven efficacy than the Turkey Tail mushrooms.
Outcomes, as written numerous times, are often at least as much about the frequency of the procedure being performed by a given clinic or Doc, and their skill-set, as much or more, as other variables.
That said, this Doc is involved with a well-established facility that has done/does LOTS of research over time.
~1% of his patients have an additional surgical procedure done, 1-2 years out, to correct any continued enuresis or urinary incontinence, which is most often dribbling', whether post urination, or otherwise.
With Rx meds used low-dose, and possibly the pumps, post op, both being used specifically to ^ blood flow to the penis for rehabilitation and maintenance of veins, arteries, muscle tissue, nerves, etc., sparing ONE hydraulic nerve on the left side, but taking out the right side hydraulic nerve, I would have a 20-30% chance of having a spontaneous erection and sexual activity.
With the use of Rx medications for -during- sexual activity, that gets boosted to ~65% chance of effective sexual expression, though many are aware that use of such drugs specifically -for- the moment of sexual activity, robs much of the spontaneous aspects of sexual activity.
Adult pads or diapers would be worn for 2-6 mos. post-op, for most patients, with about 4% continuing to wear pads after 1 year, but most of those cases still involve 'dribbling' as opposed to 'opened flood gates.'
Use of the pumps in rehab also aids in maintaining length of the penis, more than length being negatively affected by the splicing of the urethra, which, as Weez pointed out, is an inherent part of the procedure; severing and then reconnecting the urethra.
The Doc echoed my sentiments; "there's no free lunch" in this. There's a likelihood of -some- loss of aspects of life as I've known it.
Post-op, in the event of the return of cancer of this type, options would be radiation or hormone therapies. Sometimes both.
The earlier numbers of this cancer having a 3% chance of killing me in 15 years, if left untreated, were viewed as 'overly optimistic.' (Again, bearing in mind, this Doc and his facility are steeped in their own in-depth research. Solid sources and solid place. I didn't feel like I was being 'blue-skied' or sold a used car. I felt like the information being offered was well-based and top notch.
Then there was the standard post-op info re. risk of blood clots cutting loose, and recommended walking once every hour or so, post-op, including on the plane home, 9 days after surgery or so, to avoid such additional problems.
So at this point, I have the option of 2 of the surgeons I've met with to date, with today's being likely my 1st choice, and 1 radiation oncologist, whose proposed tx regimen I 'felt' somewhat more comfortable with, if only due to a shorter duration of hormone suppression tx and better stated outcomes. The 1 surgeon could likely work on me in a bit over 2-3 months. Today's surgeon could work on me in about a month or so, and the hormone suppression, in the event of radiation, could begin soon, locally, with the first injection, then later on, a flight to Seattle to do a scan to 'custom-build' the radiated seeds.
I don't like the thought of radiation and related surrounding damaged tissue, as well as the risk my ventral hernia poses re. surgery using air that expands the abdomen and separates tissue in that general area.
Short of that, today's Doc stated what I already know; I have lots of information now, not all, but lots, and what remains is to make a decision.
So... Decision time. Not immediately, but soon. And I hate this part. Gathering information is safe and involved no commitment. Deciding which path to take in tx. is the actual rolling of the proverbial dice that goes beyond the information-gathering phase, and involves crossed fingers, and hope. Hope is something that sometimes pans out, and sometimes doesn't. And there's no true 'turning back' from these procedures.
Sometime very soon, I will close my eyes, pick up the phone, and take the risk. Again, soon, but not this minute. There'll be some meditation happening soon, and a softly spoken decisions voiced after that.
------------------------------------------
Dire Straits
'Walk of Life'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sys9LCUo-AU
Highlights include that 1:200 patients experience bleeding during procedure that requires a transfusion; blood would be vetted for disease through standard protocols, but if needed, would not be my own.
My ventral hernia poses increased risk of stress to the muscles in the abdomen during the surgery, as 6 holes are made near the navel, during the surgery, and the abdomen is inflated to the extent that (as the Doc put it) the patient is about the equivalent of "6 months pregnant."
While the plant-based diet is likely helpful, controlling diabetes and weight probably have a far greater effect on outcomes and recovery than the plant-based diet. Insulin resistance may help the cancer to grow, and so having those numbers and related health indicators closer to right, matters a fair amount.
The sulforaphane (broccoli sprouts) and ^ lycopene intake (Mediterranean diet) have better/more research behind them for proven efficacy than the Turkey Tail mushrooms.
Outcomes, as written numerous times, are often at least as much about the frequency of the procedure being performed by a given clinic or Doc, and their skill-set, as much or more, as other variables.
That said, this Doc is involved with a well-established facility that has done/does LOTS of research over time.
~1% of his patients have an additional surgical procedure done, 1-2 years out, to correct any continued enuresis or urinary incontinence, which is most often dribbling', whether post urination, or otherwise.
With Rx meds used low-dose, and possibly the pumps, post op, both being used specifically to ^ blood flow to the penis for rehabilitation and maintenance of veins, arteries, muscle tissue, nerves, etc., sparing ONE hydraulic nerve on the left side, but taking out the right side hydraulic nerve, I would have a 20-30% chance of having a spontaneous erection and sexual activity.
With the use of Rx medications for -during- sexual activity, that gets boosted to ~65% chance of effective sexual expression, though many are aware that use of such drugs specifically -for- the moment of sexual activity, robs much of the spontaneous aspects of sexual activity.
Adult pads or diapers would be worn for 2-6 mos. post-op, for most patients, with about 4% continuing to wear pads after 1 year, but most of those cases still involve 'dribbling' as opposed to 'opened flood gates.'
Use of the pumps in rehab also aids in maintaining length of the penis, more than length being negatively affected by the splicing of the urethra, which, as Weez pointed out, is an inherent part of the procedure; severing and then reconnecting the urethra.
The Doc echoed my sentiments; "there's no free lunch" in this. There's a likelihood of -some- loss of aspects of life as I've known it.
Post-op, in the event of the return of cancer of this type, options would be radiation or hormone therapies. Sometimes both.
The earlier numbers of this cancer having a 3% chance of killing me in 15 years, if left untreated, were viewed as 'overly optimistic.' (Again, bearing in mind, this Doc and his facility are steeped in their own in-depth research. Solid sources and solid place. I didn't feel like I was being 'blue-skied' or sold a used car. I felt like the information being offered was well-based and top notch.
Then there was the standard post-op info re. risk of blood clots cutting loose, and recommended walking once every hour or so, post-op, including on the plane home, 9 days after surgery or so, to avoid such additional problems.
So at this point, I have the option of 2 of the surgeons I've met with to date, with today's being likely my 1st choice, and 1 radiation oncologist, whose proposed tx regimen I 'felt' somewhat more comfortable with, if only due to a shorter duration of hormone suppression tx and better stated outcomes. The 1 surgeon could likely work on me in a bit over 2-3 months. Today's surgeon could work on me in about a month or so, and the hormone suppression, in the event of radiation, could begin soon, locally, with the first injection, then later on, a flight to Seattle to do a scan to 'custom-build' the radiated seeds.
I don't like the thought of radiation and related surrounding damaged tissue, as well as the risk my ventral hernia poses re. surgery using air that expands the abdomen and separates tissue in that general area.
Short of that, today's Doc stated what I already know; I have lots of information now, not all, but lots, and what remains is to make a decision.
So... Decision time. Not immediately, but soon. And I hate this part. Gathering information is safe and involved no commitment. Deciding which path to take in tx. is the actual rolling of the proverbial dice that goes beyond the information-gathering phase, and involves crossed fingers, and hope. Hope is something that sometimes pans out, and sometimes doesn't. And there's no true 'turning back' from these procedures.
Sometime very soon, I will close my eyes, pick up the phone, and take the risk. Again, soon, but not this minute. There'll be some meditation happening soon, and a softly spoken decisions voiced after that.
------------------------------------------
Dire Straits
'Walk of Life'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sys9LCUo-AU
Last edited:
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