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    Moose, how do you know they don't remove the gold afterward??


    [youtubeif]VJW67QN24SA[/youtubeif]
    "when i run outta weed, i smoke match sticks...
    that first hit is FIRE!!!"


    "I'm not always a dick...but when I am, I drink cheap beer".

    Comment


      "To be sexless for two years ... " A dour thought. Onward Moose!

      Comment


        Originally posted by trichrider View Post
        Moose, how do you know they don't remove the gold afterward??


        [youtubeif]VJW67QN24SA[/youtubeif]
        Cheech & Chong from years ago!! Good stuff. I had their yellow album with the circular dragon on the front, back in about 1972 or 1973, with 'Tripping in Court' and other skits.

        -----------------------

        Well, I thought the Doc said that, & I know they don't retrieve the radiated 'seeds' (though they're not using Palladium, instead using something else). They stated the 'seeds' remain in place, which had me more worried before re. continuing radiation, and I should have included tat information in the previous lengthy post.

        And there's no surgery for the removal that was discussed in the time-line of events that would come about with this treatment.

        Thanks for your indirect reminder, though, trich, as I had neglected to add the details about the half-life of the 'seeds'.. The half-life of the 'seeds' they're using is stated to only be about 60 days (that was a relief, btw).

        But the fact that they leave the 'seeds' in place, to me, supports the probability they're leaving the small pieces of gold in, as well. That, and as stated, no one mentioned any surgical procedures for gold retrieval.

        But aside from the old-time grave robbers, who would want second-hand gold that's been attached to someone else's prostate? I figure once in, they're mine.

        If my grave ever gets hit by bandits seeking gold teeth, they'll probably never think to look -there-, either!


        --------------------------------------

        A true R&B marvel of a performance!!

        B.B. King & Van 'The Man' Morrison

        'If You Love Me'

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1NY...YN7HY&index=27

        Comment


          Originally posted by Sat X RB View Post
          "To be sexless for two years ... " A dour thought. Onward Moose!
          Thanks T.

          Yep, forward is the way to go, but there's little gargoyles at every juncture, reminding me that one way or the other, there's a very good chance that there'll be some trades.

          And the Doc today was careful and thorough to remind me several times that significantly increased longevity doesn't necessarily corelate to cancer treatment, but how those years are spent are different between those who don't get treated, and those who do.

          In other words, I may not live to be much older, for the sake of having tx of one sort or another, but I have a better chance of not having those last half-dozen or more years not being spent retching or in pain as a result of metastasized tumors.

          It's all a roll of the dice, with some trade-offs waiting in the wings, and thin margins or percentages saying that I come away with no ill effects or results..

          That said, buzz reports he's doing fine at the moment. So those stories exist. I also know, however, that buzz's numbers and stage of development in his cancer was less far along at the time of his tx., in contrast to mine.

          Also weighing heavily is the fact that I can't jerk my pancreas' performance around much more for now, and maybe not ever again, in the way that I have recently, and 11 years ago..

          After spine surgery 2.5 years ago, my glucose took off on its own for a bit; stress, and many other factors can have a negative effect on glucose, no matter how healthy the diet is. And surgery is definitely perceived by the body as an assault.

          So that feature adds a whole 'nother consideration to the mix.

          But surgery still potentially comes with some hard-core trades involved, too.

          Most of the high-risk gambles in my life have involved things where I could/can, at least somewhat, calculate and/or manipulate variables.. control the outcomes by thinking things through. This shit involves informed consent, no guarantees, a fair amount of gut feeling for the Docs, loose calculations re. comparisons to others' cases, including those who were/are at similar stages with their cancer as I'm at, etc.

          It tries limits for those of us with major trust and related issues of betrayal or disappointment, who have used control over things in our lives to cope.. It directly defies OCD as a management tool for PTSD. It's gonna' do what it's gonna' do.

          The OCD, as a tool, helps in research, sorting through insurance, etc., and asking questions that (apparently) go a fair bit beyond what the average patient seeks to learn.

          Anyway, through attrition, stress, time, knowing this is categorized as 'aggressive cancer', continuing to gather information, etc., I'll likely end up making a decision with the best information I can get, but accepting or surrendering to the reality that this may or may not go well.

          --------------------------------------------
          Stephen Allen Davis

          'Jesus in the Back of a Cadillac'

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpNEaL9G8fk

          Comment


            Located my new vape earlier (as evidenced by the length of my last coupla' posts), but had to finish the White Lotus 4 I already had ground up. Mastering the Pax 3 slowly, but thus far, I think it leaves a bit of weed uncooked. Truly an American design? Planned inefficiency or wastefulness that improves someone else's bottom line? Sounds about right.
            ----------------------------------------------------
            Made mention the other night in the random post thread, but I had intended to post it here, too. My friend in the bush had referenced the movie/documentary on Netflix, titled 'Satan & Adam.'

            Not what you might think.

            I don't think he's ever made a bad recommendation re. a film, and this was no exception.

            Beyond the obvious and basics, it gets into life, and the motivations to live, respect, life, race, love, and a lot more. My wife was a bit stunned (in a good way) and her initial assessment of it was that we ought to watch it regularly, as a reminder of sorts.

            Yes, much of what is in there can be extended to cancer treatment and the people involved in support, and more; meaningful relationships in general, and their contribution to the will to continue going. It's one of the best films I've seen in a while. Outstanding.

            ---------------------------------------------

            In between research, and not wanting to have TSA take away my new vape should someone on their crew have a hair up their ass for cannabis users, I've finally received a 18650 high-quality, high-drain, 3.6 volt, 35 mAh battery for the old Pinnacle Pro, and will be obtaining a heat-regulated digital soldering station, some nickel strapping for soldering battery packs (with the Li-ion), and some solder with lead and silver present in sufficient amount to be workable for the task.

            Out of medical issues, comes yet another hobby or project.. or both.

            -----------------------------------------------------

            Computer components and Chromebook are supposed to be here tomorrow and Friday. Still need to get them set up once arrived, and get the rest of the hardware, etc., for the stay, how ever long it will be; hot-plate, portable USB-charged 16-oz. back-packing blender, a small [pot and skillet, and gobs of healthy grub.

            -------------------------------------------------

            Contacted my newly favorite town car service in Seattle, and clarified what the next 2-3 trips might entail, and asked if he was up for that. I told him what was right about his service based on my experience the last time I was down there, and he reciprocated his appreciation of my compliments, offering to give me a good price, maybe a bit different than his normal meter rates. I've had a positive experience with him each time we met or spoke on the phone, so, at least for now, I'm a loyal customer.

            -----------------------------------------------

            Nausea subsided, but I'm back for another puff, an additional shorter nap, and constructing some soilless mixes.

            The Pax 3 is calling my name now.

            Comment


              I went on a search tonight to find more reading re. the mention the radiation oncologist shared today, re. type II diabetes/diabetes, and wonky glucose levels during hormone suppression tx.

              I'm still trying to find good, recent research re. this topic/question, but initially stumbled across this article.

              https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5405102/

              Seems the pharmaceutical folks and researchers are saying that Metformin (commonly prescribed to help manage glucose levels for persons who are not needing to inject insulin, but who need some assistance in managing blood sugar) reduced frequency of, and mortality resulting from, prostate cancer.

              My cynical side wondered if this was Big Pharma's method of trying to counter some of the criticism that Metformin has received over the last several years, but that seems pretty far-fetched. And it's not like they're making a lot of money on Metformin.

              My next thought was, "I wonder how bad off my cancer would be if I hadn't been taking Metformin??"

              Questions that I/we will likely never know the answers to.

              Anyway, more reading seems to be on the agenda.

              Another related article from Harvard health publication:

              https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/...t-201308192023

              --------------------------------------------------------------------
              Here's the crux of the biscuit, from the horse's mouth. Seems that education and research are, indeed, helping me to make my choices, but not necessarily in the way that I had hoped they would; more a finding of what is prohibitive, rather than helpful or proactive, in this case.

              Doesn't sound much like a party drug to me:

              https://www.lupronprostatecancer.com/about-lupron-depot
              Last edited by moose eater; 02-11-2021, 09:36.

              Comment


                Originally posted by moose eater View Post
                But aside from the old-time grave robbers, who would want second-hand gold that's been attached to someone else's prostate? I figure once in, they're mine.

                If my grave ever gets hit by bandits seeking gold teeth, they'll probably never think to look -there-, either!
                I don't mean to alarm you, but you might want to read up on Dracos.

                The party drugs are found on another formulary.

                Answers to your questions on this prostate cancer test come with delays. Patience will continue to be tested during treatment and recovery while waiting for follow up tests and results. There were a lot of moments of doubt after treatment for me. "What if...?" entered my mind often. I attempted mental jiu jitsu to turn that question into a statement of "What is." It helped me to keep the 'spooks away'.

                From James Thurber Let Your Mind Alone Anodynes for Anxieties:
                "Take one of your own anxieties," writes Mr. Seabury. "Analyze it so as to recall all the factors. Write three score of these on separate cards. Move the cards about on the floor into as many different relations as possible. Study each combination." Mr. Seabury may not know it, but the possible different relations of sixty cards would run into the millions. If a man actually studied each of these combinations, it would at least keep him off the streets and out of trouble—and also out of the advertising business, which would be something, after all. Toy soldiers, however, are more fun.

                Now, if this kind of playing with filing cards doesn't strike your fancy, there is the "Worry Play." Let me quote Mr. Seabury again. "You should write out a description of your worry," he says, "divide it into three acts and nine scenes, as if it were a play, and imagine it on the stage, or in the movies, with various endings. Look at it as impersonally as you would look at a comedy and you might be surprised at the detachment you would gain." I have tried very hard to do this. I try out all these suggestions. They have taken up most of my time and energy for the past six months and got me into such a state that my doctor says I can do only three more of these articles at the outside before I go to a sanitarium. A few years ago I had an old anxiety and I was reminded of it by this "Worry Play" idea. Although this old anxiety has been dead and gone for a long time, it kept popping up in my mind because, of all the worries I ever had, it seemed to lend itself best to the drama. I tried not to think about it, but there it was, and I finally realized I would have to write it out and imagine it on the stage before I could dismiss it from my consciousness and get back to work. Well, it ran almost as long as "Mourning Becomes Electra" and took me a little over three weeks to dramatize. Then, when I thought I was rid of it, I dreamed one night I had sold the movie rights, and so I had to adapt it to the movies (a Mr. Sam Maschino, a movie agent, kept bobbing up in my dreams, hectoring me). This took another two weeks. I could not, however, attain this detachment that Mr. Seabury talks about. Since the old anxiety was my own anxiety, I was the main character in it. Sometimes, for as many as fifteen pages of the play script and the movie continuity, I was the only person on the set. I visualized myself in the main rôle, naturally—having rejected Leslie Howard, John Gielgud, and Lionel Barrymore for one reason or another. I was lousy in the part, too, and that worried me. Hence I advise you not to write out your worries in the form of a play. It is simpler to write them out on sixty pieces of paper and juggle them around. Or talk about them to J. P. Morgan. Or send postcards to yourself about them. There are a number of solutions for anxieties which I believe are better than any of these, however: go out and skate, or take in a basketball game, or call on a girl. Or burn up a lot of books.
                “You can disagree without being disagreeable.”
                Ruth Bader Ginsburg

                Comment


                  Originally posted by buzzmobile View Post
                  I don't mean to alarm you, but you might want to read up on Dracos.

                  The party drugs are found on another formulary.

                  Answers to your questions on this prostate cancer test come with delays. Patience will continue to be tested during treatment and recovery while waiting for follow up tests and results. There were a lot of moments of doubt after treatment for me. "What if...?" entered my mind often. I attempted mental jiu jitsu to turn that question into a statement of "What is." It helped me to keep the 'spooks away'.

                  From James Thurber Let Your Mind Alone Anodynes for Anxieties:


                  Thanks buzz. I'd thought we'd killed off the Dracos?

                  I got your gist. Yes, the 'what ifs' are unending sometimes, and made especially so by the fact that there's so much that can't possibly be known.

                  The anxiety is way less than it has been, but I don't do anything that's permanent in outcomes, or expensive by 1975 standards, without throwing those 60 cards on the floor and dancing in them.

                  You should see me researching buying (even a used) car, if it involves more than a couple thousand dollars. I can wring my hands with the best of them, but action will come... of one sort or another.

                  ----------------------------------------

                  Met for round II with the original radiation oncologist. He stands by his numbers, states that the glucose interference by the hormone suppression drug is a rarity in his experience. He added that if the hormone suppression drug(s) became an issue for stabilizing glucose numbers, there are other things they can do to address the suppression of testosterone or the interference in glucose by the Rx.

                  He stated that perhaps 40-50% of men receiving the intensity of radiation he's proposed for me, end up (initially) with some degree of erectile dysfunction, and after ED rehabilitation tx, perhaps about half of them regain varying degrees of function.

                  (*I'll temper that part with the research that states a LOT of men who are assigned exercises re. resolving ED, fail to adhere to their rehab regimens with much dedication or consistency. Like the average American; "Just give me the pills, and don't ask me to change anything about my life style.. even if it's m lifestyle that put me here in the first place." <Ask me how many times I've watched Metformin-eating folks with diabetes shoveling jelly beans or candy bars into their mouths, and looking confused when that shit blows up in their faces>).

                  Urinary dysfunction involves a substantially lesser number of men than ED, and usually clears up for the majority after a specific amount of time. Bowell incontinence is very rare in his opinion.

                  In the event that tissue damage occurs, or other 'choking off' of the urethra, resulting in interference to the ability to urinate, there are other procedures to open everything back up.

                  He stated that ~3% of men who receive the tx he has outlined for me experience recurrence of the localized cancer in the prostate; that is a separate figure from the more rare occurrence of radiation generated cancers, resulting from the Palladium seeds, etc.

                  (I believe that number is lower than originally stated, but will need to check notes from our first mtg.. And I screwed myself by keeping more than one running notebook re. these interviews, so I need to organize and locate them, putting them in ONE location).

                  I made it clear that where ever I go for tx., and what ever type of tx it is, my plan at this time is to stay with one provider for which ever path is chosen.

                  So, things are not quite as dire as some of the research indicated last night; "context, context, context."

                  That, and I've noted that when larger studies speak to something being 'very rare' (if they use such loose terminology at all) they are often referencing 1:1,000, or 1:1,000,000. When individual Docs who do this work say 'very rare', they may be talking about something as frequent as 1:100; a whole different parameter.

                  Again, "context, context, context."

                  ----------------------------------------

                  Ian Hunter (of Mott the Hoople fame) & Mick Ronson (of Ziggy Stardust fame), Live

                  (Mick Ronson on mandolin)

                  'I Wish I Was Your Mother'

                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0XHVgjwU3o

                  Alejandro Escovedo's very beautiful and melancholy version of Ian Hunter's 'I Wish I Was Your Mother', Live

                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMb5MHE78kc

                  Comment


                    Bulbine Natalensis...boosts your natural testosterone and other hormones while lowering estrogen..Its pretty potent, watch dose...effects are felt 24 hours after first dose, cycle on for two weeks, off for two weeks, taking every second day, or daily for a week and off for 2 weeks, on for week etc or something like that to avoid any liver/kidney toxicity, I also cook up with reishi mushroom to assist kidneys/liver.

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by maryjaneismyfre View Post
                      Bulbine Natalensis...boosts your natural testosterone and other hormones while lowering estrogen..Its pretty potent, watch dose...effects are felt 24 hours after first dose, cycle on for two weeks, off for two weeks, taking every second day, or daily for a week and off for 2 weeks, on for week etc or something like that to avoid any liver/kidney toxicity, I also cook up with reishi mushroom to assist kidneys/liver.
                      Thanks.

                      That might come in to play later, after any hormone suppression tx.

                      Initially the Docs from either side (surgery or radiation) want to lower testosterone, because testosterone 'feeds' prostate cancers.

                      The radiation oncologist yesterday (the fellow I've now met with 2x's) clarified something for me that was a bit helpful, and a distinction I hadn't made before; the issue of erectile dysfunction from a more 'mechanical' (physical) perspective, is not about testosterone lacking, but more often about tissue damage, blood flow, nerves, etc.

                      The testosterone tx is a matter of testosterone levels being low enough that libido or 'interest', or sexual desire, is negatively affected.

                      But they tend to not address this until further down the road, after what ever course of treatment, specifically because of the testosterone having a negative effect for the patient where the growth or perpetuation of tumors/cancer are concerned.

                      ---------------------------------------------

                      Pure Prairie League

                      'Early Morning Riser'

                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Kb7wZokLHQ

                      Comment


                        Well, apparently my body still thinks is needs to be lighter. I had thought I was eating pretty well, sufficient volume, good nutritious content, etc., and for several days my weight was more or less stabilized, but it seems someone tripped the auto-pilot switch again, and we're headed downward on the digital scale once more.

                        One of those rides at the carnival that you're sure should have ended a while ago, but you're somewhat stuck where you are, so.. what the hell..... keep on riding.

                        As written yesterday, once more wild card to flip over with the new-to-me, well-ranked and respected surgeon, and then decisions, as there will be, in theory(?), far fewer reasons then to perpetuate what has been the double-edged reality of indecision and fact gathering. It has been a safe holding pattern of sorts, assuming the cancer isn't growing too quickly.

                        But the time of inaction, while staving off any possible negative outcomes from undesirable side-effects from either treatment set of options, is not a helpful or positive course. It's a course that eventually leads to far worse outcomes, unless the cancer is being functionally arrested and cast into remission by the various natural remedies I'm ingesting currently.

                        ------------------------------------------

                        So, a protein shake, some pistachios and smoked almonds, supplements, 1 Rx pill, and 3-4 quinoa & flax seeds crackers with organic hummus, and we'll call that breakfast today.

                        Swallowed several oz. of good potent black French Roast, fresh ground coffee the other day, and had no negative effects to my pulse, etc., so had about half that the next day (maybe 1.5 to 2 oz., as a matter of cleaning out the pot), and again, no negatives. So though I won't be headed back into meat consumption soon, with the possible exception of some oily sockeye salmon in limited amount in the near future, it's time to get into normalizing my diet further, absent meat proteins.

                        -------------------------------------------

                        Paying bills today, and then picking up what ever I can that I need to get the Pinnacle Pro repaired.

                        ------------------------------------------

                        Back into holding pattern for the last appt. and reading more re. the many subjects that are actively a part of the current circumstances.

                        -----------------------------------------

                        Pure Prairie League

                        'Angel #9'

                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUZ-xnEwBW8

                        Comment


                          Got all the errands and chores knocked out, and bills paid. Grumpy before going in, as each trip involves a mystery number of encounters with boundary-challenged persons.

                          But otherwise a good day. No panic attacks, racing pulse, etc.,

                          -------------------------------------

                          Then comes the evening read of the local news, and... "It starts as a normal evening at home with vegan soup...." <cue Rod Sirling>

                          Seems our emergency status, state-wide, for dealing with COVID, expires on this Sunday. Valentine's Day. How quaint.

                          There's not only going to be a WHOLE LOT of persons who've been out of work for a while, not receiving any emergency food stamps, but there will also be a discontinuation of telehealth/Zoom/Doxy emergency authorizations for either local OR interstate.... And I have a major appt scheduled for this next Thursday..

                          I sometimes wonder how many more struggles there might be, built into just trying to get from A to B in this deal?

                          I guess we'll see what happens on Valentine's Day... In the mean time, I guess emails and phone calls are in order, maybe helping a bit to clarify the reality of this latest political-ideology-fueled cluster fuck.

                          -------------------------------------------

                          Tommy James

                          'Crystal Blue Persuasion'

                          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dn5Pbug5nRw

                          Comment


                            Reading the above made me think of a Let It Be tune:

                            The Long and Winding Road

                            You're getting there, but man it is a long journey.
                            “You can disagree without being disagreeable.”
                            Ruth Bader Ginsburg

                            Comment


                              "But otherwise a good day. No panic attacks, racing pulse, etc."


                              you're due for a reprieve...


                              [youtubeif]A_t59To7Snk[/youtubeif]

                              "when i run outta weed, i smoke match sticks...
                              that first hit is FIRE!!!"


                              "I'm not always a dick...but when I am, I drink cheap beer".

                              Comment


                                Originally posted by trichrider View Post
                                "But otherwise a good day. No panic attacks, racing pulse, etc."


                                you're due for a reprieve...


                                [youtubeif]A_t59To7Snk[/youtubeif]

                                Thanks trich.

                                The Farner Bros., from Flint Michigan. Beautiful tune by them.

                                I was at a Jr. High dance, a youngster, afraid, hiding in dimply lit places, avoiding embarrassment (or so I thought), when the band on the stage was doing that tune ('Closer to Home'/'I'm Your Captain'), and in my awkward avoidance of anything that might be too emotionally risky, I stepped onto their bundle of power cords, and inadvertently unplugged everybody; mics/PA, instruments, etc.

                                Like getting too nervous about falling from a precarious perch to the extent that the person's legs give way, and.. they increase the risk of falling.

                                -------------------

                                Got ahold of ONE representative's aid so far this AM. They had all office phones forwarded to their cell, and we spent a great deal of time talking about the status of Alaska's emergency orders, and the barriers that are currently present in this ordeal.

                                There are stand-offs of sorts right now with this issue, but I intend to get ahold of ALL of them, and let them know that their posturing, whether displacement of legal boundaries, or trying to shift accountability for more spending of money, is literally costing lives if they don't get their heads removed from their asses.

                                As an activist, my relationship with many of these actors was tentative at best, and now I need to reach out, create some sort of unified understanding or image, and emphasize that this dance they're currently engaged in goes way beyond the average legislative C-grade theater, and now stands to place many persons at significantly greater risk.

                                I won't write where my thoughts go to in re. to this framing of the issues, but it's not a good place. Not at all.

                                -----------------------------------------

                                I received what may or may not be a functional 'shotgun email address' for the entirety of the Alaska State House and Senate, and will be trying that shortly, to save some time and effort. If it ONLY works from inside -their- mail system, and the messages bounce back, then it'll be a matter of individually loading a BUNCH of individual email addresses into a couple emails, but tie is time, and tomorrow is the deadline.

                                And as my experience thus far this morning shows, very few office staffers are going to be making themselves available on a holiday week-end, that also incorporates Valentine's Day.

                                I was very fortunate that the first effort resulted in a person answering, who takes their salaried position seriously, and sees themselves very much as being a servant to the constituency.

                                So cancer & pine injuries have caused me to be an advocate for myself within the healthcare system, by necessity, and now have me putting back on my activist hat, with at least as much of a personal stake in the issue as I've ever had previously.

                                Swatting mosquitos and playing whack-a-mole, where lives are literally concerned and in the proverbial balance, and trying to remind representatives and senators that partisan-ism and re-election's benefits to their egos were not why they were elected; they were elected to represent US!!!

                                Fingers crossed, but realism in place. Forward we go.. how ever paced it may be..

                                --------------------------------------

                                Tommy James & The Shondells

                                'Crimson & Clover'

                                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhgw6ggYkQg
                                Last edited by moose eater; 02-13-2021, 20:59.

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