Another Crappy Day in Paradise..... Do it Again.

[shopkin]

The poor tree trimmers take the rap for everything. I curse them bastards every time they come by because they make such a mess of things. But, you had legions of law enforcement officers sky spying, stomping through, pulling plants, takin' pitchers, filing reports, etc.

Cops spend most of their time talking story with other cops and those in the community that are willing to interact with them. Society says that is what we want; cops that interact with the community instead of just shootin' folks from the squad car winder. But, taking story is a two way street, a conversation, a dialog. You have to give something to get something. Finding some giant sativas makes a good story to tell and protecting your identity is not high on their list of priorities. Stories get retold and so it spreads. There may only be about three degrees of separation between you and the guys that stole your stuff with a law enforcement officer in between. Your problem Old Haole could be that your thumb is too green and your plants are just too nice.

 

[oldhaole]

Right in Two......

Right in Two......

I gotta tell you.

We've been to this movie before. Unfortunately, we all know how it ends too.

But here we are. Going through the motions. It MAY be a different movie, same actors, same villains, same heros, same shit, but there is a small chance it could end, well, better than we thought it would, but I sure wouldn't hold my breath.

That said, there is really nothing to do but keep on keeping on.....

It rained today. Fuckin, Kosher Kush ain't quite built for outside. OH well.....

Par for the course.

Angels on the sideline,
Puzzled and amused.
Why did Father give these humans free will?
Now they're all confused.

The halfassed security system grew a set of electric teeth the second Wifey's plane went wheels up. It also got dialed in. Ain't so halfassed anymore. It's just fuckin' evil. Now, when it barks, everything can be checked with just a glance. The dogs no longer spend half the day in the kennel, and for that matter, they have been banned from the house in the daylight hours. No more sleeping on the couch, sleep on the deck where you can do me some good!

I don't need more dogs, I just have to use the ones I have better than they were being used. And that ain't hard to do.

Don't these talking monkeys know that
Eden has enough to go around?
Plenty in this holy garden, silly monkeys,
Where there's one you're bound to divide it.
Right in two.

At night the dogs come in and on goes the power. Last time they came up after dark, in the rain, that's the way I hope they come again. Nice wet ground and household current makes a tasty combo. There are only two ways into the gulch, one by the house, and the other I built, just for them.

Almost like fishing. Except should no fish bite, you get to keep your bait. So we wait. And just for the record.... I kinda get off on these mind games. With wifey gone this can be fun in a sick kinda way.

Angels on the sideline,
Baffled and confused.
Father blessed them all with reason.
And this is what they choose...

Next up, is a Green Harvest I'm gonna dread. Now I'm trying to push out a years worth of plants out of half a years time. Timing, something that used to be so important to me, is now something I point and just laugh at, yea, it's shot. Big time. Spray and pray.

What else could go wrong? Cue monster Hurricane. Cue Green Harvest. Cue thieves. All we have to get is the order right. Either way, hurricane comes last.

Monkey killing monkey killing monkey
Over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys, give them thumbs,
They forge a blade,
And where there's one
they're bound to divide it,
Right in two.

Here is something interesting. Wanna know how much money Maui County got from the DEA for it's Marijuana eradication program? Found the line in the budget, in last Monday's Maui News.

One hundred thousand dollars. Pushing that out, my guess is the State got a half million. Fuckin' peanuts. A decade ago it was 10 times that.

Monkey killing monkey killing monkey.
Over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs.
They make a club.
And beat their brother, down.
How they survive so misguided is a mystery.

On the good side we are back to harvesting. Never put all your eggs in one basket. I didn't, so now my patient patients get fed again, only 5 days late. Nothing came off the rails. Almost like it never happened.

We know better. But that's how it has to be for now.

You play the game.

Shopkin.... Exactly why I don't go there. I don't really give a shit who, it has to be stopped.

Weez.... you can do nothing. What I need you can not give. Kinda one of those things you gotta do yourself. Unless you know who zapped me, and happen to have a pike to place his head on, we are kinda out of luck.

DB... here is a pic of a big Japaneese Hash plant. You asked.

Repugnant is a creature
who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven
conscious of his fleeting time here.

 

[Dirtboy808]

That is one nice looking plant Mahalo for the pic. I hope weather been better for you because the dew point here is super high and been cutting rot off each day even with the more sat shit. Just a crappy year for buds. I'll be looking forward to winter and some dry weather. Here is a pic for your viewing pleasure. Mahalo from the Head Peanut

 

[oldhaole]

The worm may have turned.

Then again, it may not have and all I'm doing is grabbing at straws.

Either way, I caught my first break on Tuesday.

Before we get into that, Green Harvest is flying. So far, not a bad thing. But let's get back to Tuesday.....

With all the shit going on, and wifey absent, I don't want to be away from the house for long, but I gotta eat, and the house needs stuff, so I had to head downtown. I didn't think GH would fly on a Tuesday, it's still a little early for them, so chance it. Put everything out.

With that I head down to Grey's. Then Costco. Put gas, and back for home. About ten miles out, phone rings. Grey tells me the Yellow chopper is circling his house. They seem to be flying Green Harvest.

Fuck.

Gotta get home. Fast.

Three minutes later, I look left, there is the Yellow chopper grid searching, back and forth, but each sweep takes him closer to my house. Partner calls me and says they are flying. Yea, Thanks, I got that. Little car is flying up the hill, get chance, until I get behind the Protea guy. You know who. Old man, beat up pick up, full of Protea, going 20 the whole damn way home. You'd think he had a cargo of loose eggs rolling around the back instead of one of the worlds most indestructible flowers. That bad.

As I stew behind Protea dude, soon I'm watching the chopper out of my windshield. Back and forth. At this rate, even if I can get past flower man, no way I'm gonna have the time to move everything before that bird is on top of me. I am fucked.

Back and forth, finally, Protea guy hangs a left. It matters not, I lost the race.

About two more back and fourths to home is exactly the moment the worm turned. Back and forth, then all there was, was a back, as in back to the airport. I don't know why. There were no clouds, maybe he needed fuel, whatever. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you my first break of 2015.

I got home, stashed everything, harvested a couple, made it look like.... well, let's just hope they don't count. After lunch they did return up here, but quickly away. Straight line. They didn't count.

Today I have got reports from everybody, they were all circled. Early this morning they were up here with the ball. Haven't seen that in awhile. Worked the whole pasture areas above us, even landed at one of the local ranchers house. The ball sprays poison, could be instead of landing and pulling they now are spraying. Save money. Could also be something entirely not related, like killing Banana Poka or some other invasive shit.

Speaking of the worm turning, weather got good this week. Last week we had a couple of old broken down tropical systems pass North, between us and the High that cranks up the Trades. Without the Trades, it reached 94 one of those days, downtown, breaking the record high of that day by 2 degrees. Without the Trades, you know what the problem up here is. Afternoon rain. I think it was last Sunday we got three inches over five hours. The gulch flowed. That don't happen often.

But the timing was good. With a garden full of young plants, the rain was beneficial. Sure, there are a few in flower, but all Skunkdog, or it's crosses, so rot isn't an issue. Three inches of rain at that stage? Not a problem. So far this week has been solid sun, and the next broken down tropical System is passing to our South, which should boost the trades. Then, about a week out, we may be looking at the first real threat of the season.

Yea, the worm may have turned. With the end of this Green Harvest, assuming I stay unmolested, one of my three problems should have passed. I doubt they will fly again before Labor Day. That gives us five weeks and change for me, again hopefully, to take a bunch out of this garden before they fly the next time.

The second of my problems, timing, well, we just accept that it as fucked up and move on. It is what it is. Should I get lucky and be the one that takes these, simply put.... Harvest is gonna be a goatfuck. But I would happily take that goat and fuck the shit out of her.... if ....we can overcome the third hurdle.

That, is where the problem lies. All quiet on that front. Though I have busted quite a few pheasants stealing Strawberries. Frankly, I may have to do something about that.

Hey DB..... Looks tasty. I thought you windward side guys were dry so far this year. Could it be the greenhouse traps the moisture, especially when the sun is baking? Does that thing have sides on it you could lift and let the air circulate? If it ain't raining I would put them outside. See if that helps.

 

[Dirtboy808]

It hasn't rained hard much but lots of drizzle and hot and sticky we have had a few heavy down pours that ran through the green house, it washed the floor lol. It is all in closed with screen sides and ends I got to or the bore beetle will get me. It is ok I got enough in to make it for awhile, my Pineapple Ex were done fast and my Flo 32 gave me 14 per plant.
Looks like the storm will go right over your east side. Rained all day yesterday and again today.

 

[oldhaole]

Yep, It does indeed look like the worm has turned.....

Finally.

It's hurricane season. If one happens, we're fucked, but if one doesn't happen, or like last year, just smacks the Big Island around, and we, cowards on Maui, we just hide behind her and it's all good.

Last post DB mentioned that we (as in Maui) were gonna take the hit from Guerillmo. Turned out it missed us all, stood up and ripped apart by an upper level jet stream, which happily continues, so Hilda, the next contestant, should be a Tropical Storm when it smashes directly into the Big Island come Friday morning. At least that is what the latest forecast says.....

I love the sound of falling Albezias in the morning.

No, DB, I'm just messin' with you. My money is on this one missing us to the North.

But what the hell do I know?

Anyway, it ain't like we can do anything about that, so what happens when we get missed three or four times over the next couple of months?

Fantastic weather is what happens. Your shit don't stink is what happens. This upcoming wave, and the next one..... well.... it just gets real easy to grow quality weed this time of year. Strains that usually are hard to grow become easy to grow. Stuff that usually rots, doesn't. The trades are usually cranking, full sun all day long, you put the clones out almost on the cusp of flower, but instead of quickly flowering, they jump for almost a solid month before flowers start. Now the days are slowly getting shorter, and the plants know that. The pace of flowering increases, soon, instant goatfuck. Almost the entire package ready in the same month.

Assuming I am the lucky one that grabs these.... I know, the jury is still out on that..... Then instead of processing what was taken, we immediately replant all the empty holes one more time. That, of course, requires a whole pile of three foot tall clones which you should have started about a month ago.

What?

You didn't do that? Uh oh.

You still may be in luck. It's an El Nino year. Wet Summer, dry Winter. If this follows type there should be no reason to stop planting all the way through to next year. Winter break? If it's sunny and dry that ain't gonna happen. We ride this fucker 'til the wheels fall off.

 

[Dirtboy808]

I'm betting on it going south.

 

[Casper808]

Looks awesome...gonna have to stop by and check em out ....looks like your firing on all cylinders.....Greyskull and OH da bes upcountry Ganga farmers.....cheeeeeee

 

[Weezard]

I'm betting that my insurance company doesn't go tits up.
Long shot if we ever get nailed dead center.

 

[Dirtboy808]

Looks like she is going right over you Weezard. GH was here yesterday I only saw one bird but Surf said he saw 3. They ended at my road so I expect to see them today. Haven't heard of a ground crew, they better hurry before the rain starts from Hilda which is going to be over a foot or so. A storm and GH in the same week oh what fun.

 

[oldhaole]

Apparently, Since I Got You Into This Mess....

Apparently, Since I Got You Into This Mess....

..... it's up to me to get you out of it.

But this may not work. If it doesn't, well, don't say I didn't at very least try. Looks like I gotta sweat out in the hot sun, taking one for the team.

It's my experience with Hurricanes that the more preparation I do, the less chance of the damn thing actually making a hit. If nothing is tied up, guaranteed we are just gonna get blasted. But if I spend the next 12 hours tying every branch up and bracing every plant against the storm, chances are good the storm will..... just melt away.

The work gets done, the storm misses. Seems to be a pretty solid pattern, it worked like a charm with Guerillmo, Why not Hilda?

Plant Bondage 101.

OK. Simple. Outdoor garden, but all the planted areas are sheltered by hedges. Those hedges will lift the wind up and over my plants, BUT, while the majority gets lifted up and over the plants, some wind will eddy. Pushed to the ground, and swirls, it can come at the plant from any direction.

On the Mainland, where humidity is low, you can just wrap the plant in netting, pull the branches through and forget about it. Should you do that here, two weeks later you'd have a moldball.

If the plant is.... I won't say big, because this plant isn't big, no, if the plant is more than 5 ft tall a box frame works best. Bamboo stakes at each corner. Bamboo square on top. Split the bamboo ends and ziptie it all together. Don't use old, old is brittle. Each branch should be tied to the frame at 2 separate points. Do this and your plant should still be there the morning after.

What the hell, I got nuthin, better to do.

Story Time.....

Back in the cowboy days. GH spotted my plants (not hard to do) and landed three choppers into my neighbors pasture, a whole pile of cops hop my fence and start licking their chops on how much they get to take.

But I'm legal. Right on my numbers. Meanwhile as the paperwork gets checked, in all these cops milling about I spot PB. I grew up with PB. went to school with PB. If you want to know what a Fuckin' Haole (notice, capital F and capital H) is; PB is one. Grew up filthy rich, daddy set him up, bought him a chopper, and to his credit, he became a damn good pilot, but EVERYBODY knows his story. And PB is checking out my plants.

This pisses me off. Besides being a Fuckin' Haole, PB is a pilot. NOT a cop. So I march up to the Sargent and ask if PB is a cop. No, Sarge replies. Then what the FUCK is he doing checking out my plants? All the other cops got a kick out of that little exchange, and PB was banished to the choppers.

While my numbers were right on, those trees were gonna yield a small bit more than an oz apiece, so we had to do some horse trading. I agreed to give up some of the shittier plants but I could keep the gulch, and the quality trees for myself.

I point, they take, ball it up and bring in the choppers for pick up, PB's chopper is last, Sarge and I had made a deal. PB, worthless waste of skin he is, was gonna fuck it up. Rather than pick up and go left, PB flies his chopper up and over my gulch, at about 75 feet using the rotor wash to flatten my remaining plants. We are talking trees. The whole story and pics are in one of the links below. The first I think.

It looked far worse than it was. All the plants were framed. Most had shifted, but all you had to do was pull them back into shape and everything came right back up and hanging. The biggest plant right in the middle, a bamboo crosstie had snapped, that was a bitch, but all it took was a couple of hours to replace and retie, and three days later it looked like nothing had ever happened.

The clones are a different story. Many strains must be tied up because they are so brittle. HP-13, Sourdouble, Kosher Kush, and Licorice OG are all examples of shit we are growing that you gotta tie up, or one rain at the wrong time puts the whole thing on the dirt. Then you got floppy. GDP looks to be floppy. Skunkdog is floppy, if not tied up it will be getting dirty. The Lemon Penetrator, Black Dog, Tigers Tits, Chem D, and smaller Scogi from seed don't really need to be tied up. They have the sturdy shape to stand up regardless of how much weight is growing on them.

All of the clones are tied up using the tent method of support. A piece or two, or three, of bamboo pushed deep into the soil right next to the main stem. Then all the bottom branches are tied to the pole. In hard rain, if you can keep the bottoms off the ground, most of the untied branches will come to rest on top of the braced ones so the plant never gets dirty. Then when the sun comes back out, you tie more floppy branches up.

One last reason to tie it all up, or maybe I'm not tying it up, but tying it all down. An untied clone is duck soup to swipe. Cut the main stem and go. A tied down clone is a little harder to do especially in the dark. Leave the bamboo nubs on and tie it to many different sections of the bamboo, he is gonna have to take it with him too. That takes time, and makes noise, which gives us a chance.

I'm not gonna lie to you. I started this post in the morning. Did both this post and tied up everything not already tied up. Just got done with the whole enchelada. Then just looked at the 11 AM forecast. I was (like usual) correct. From a direct hit on the Big Island, now they have it missing to the South.

Ok big Island guys.... I just saved your asses. Yes, I am that good.

Cash contributions are always gratefully accepted.

 

[Weezard]

Maybe yes, maybe no.
But thanks for the effort.

Only got two questions.
What is a hatch, and how do I "batten" it?

Aloha,
Wee

 

[Dirtboy808]

Mahalo OH. Keep those plants in bondage. Hilda will get us wet here they are saying up to 18 in, sounds like a light rain for us lol. As long as she don't stall we will be fine, surf is up. GH was out first thing yesterday and did a quick fly over but no ground crew came.
Health Dept is way behind been over 2 months for a new card. They are under staffed. Heard they will have 1000 applications for Dispensers on Oahu, X 5000 a app they will have money then.

 

[Kaabon]

Yo OH, throw some of that storm water over Oahu. The heat has been killer these last couple weeks. Good thing she didn't pound your plants though.

 

[Kaabon]

 

[Dirtboy808]

We had GH fly 2 days over me last week and again today, they must want the over time. Yes was for sure I got too many calls saying WTF

 

[SurfdOut]

Yeah, the storms jammed em up small kine....had to work weekends, poor bastards.

 

[Dirtboy808]

Ok I admit was wrong no GH they were looking for a missing girl. Storms ahead.

 

[soserthc1]

What's good Hawaiian friends . ..

Missed the last update OH I'm gonna get on that in a minute ...

My oldest daughter is touring your islands as we speak believe she's in Kauai now

She spending 4 days in 4 islands all ready on her second thou .

She still has mawi and another thinking Honolulu ? Or maybe that was first .
I should have her grab some skunk dawg when she hits mawi ..... .
Edit I'm all caught up now and can tell kid to expect storms . just chatted with her and it is Kauai she's in . she's complaining about everything closing early 9 pm I believe she said .

Nice strain list OH sounds killer
OK hope you all are having a good season .

 

[JackCough]